


Gifted

by Owlmemaybe



Category: Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Regency, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-02-06 20:51:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 45,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12825828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owlmemaybe/pseuds/Owlmemaybe
Summary: P&P, Regency AU.Elizabeth has abilities, but fears being accused of witchcraft. She heals her tenants and takes care of her family but suffers from being so helplessly different. Her one certainty is that she will not live like this her whole life, so she will never marry. But love always comes when you least expect it.





	1. Gifted girl

In her childhood, Elizabeth Bennet counted two major turning points, which had made her what she was today. Two events that had changed her life, and where the basis of her decisions now that she neared adulthood.

Of the first of these two events, she only had the imprecise memory of a few sensations: some physical discomfort, a brief relief and then pure terror. But she knew what had happened, as both her parents and her eldest sister had witnessed the event. Her sister Mary had technically seen it, but as she was only a few months old at the time she had no memory of it.

Indeed, when Elizabeth was two, she fell sick. The illness that ailed her was not life-threatening, but enough to make her parents worried – especially as she had never been sick before. In a perfectly common and expected act of comforting her daughter, Mrs Bennet had taken Elizabeth in her arms.

Would her life have been different if it had been her father or her sister who had done so? Perhaps, perhaps not. It would not necessarily have been better either.

Anyway, by doing so, Mrs Bennet discovered her daughter's strange ability, as the infant unconsciously absorbed her mother's energy to heal itself. The illness was cured and forgotten in a couple of minutes. Which was probably a good thing, given the chaos that ensued.

The feeling of having her energy drained utterly terrified Mrs Bennet, who involuntarily dropped the crying infant back onto the bed. As soon as she lost skin contact with Elizabeth, the sensation stopped, leaving her slightly fatigued and completely terrified of the second daughter she had birthed.

Once she had somewhat regained her calm, she immediately asked Mr Bennet to do whatever was necessary to send the child away from their family. Mr Bennet, who loved all of his daughters and did not understand what had just happened, refused and pressed his wife for an explanation. He was understandably unbelieving of his wife's tale, until Jane's innocent intervention.

''What do you mean Mama? Lizzy has always done this! I find it very funny, and she always smiles at me afterwards.''

It took quite some time to obtain a full and clear explanation from the four-year old, and even more time to calm Mrs Bennet and convince her that the child would indeed stay at Longbourn. While Mr Bennet was perturbed by his second daughter's ability, it had done no permanent harm to Jane or his wife, and sending an infant away was both unfeeling and bothersome.

Mrs Bennet bowed to her husbands demands, but not before huffing and warning that she would never touch the abnormal child again.

The following years proved that Mrs Bennet was very capable of keeping such a promise. She never gave her second daughter any hug or kiss, nor did she give her any kind or loving word. It was only her fear that kept her from downright physically abusing the child. Unknowingly, she taught this attitude to her youngest daughters.

Fortunately, Elizabeth was a dear child and her father and her sister Jane loved her. Mr Bennet often opened his study to her, as Mrs Bennet would never dare enter it and insult the child in front of her husband.

Jane, as children often do, accepted her sister's ability as perfectly normal and even encouraged her to experiment with it. She was convinced that she had those abilities for a reason.

Consequences of Elizabeth's ability became more evident as she grew. She ate very little, obtaining a significant part of her energy from other living beings instead of food. Afraid of repeating what had happened with her mother, she took up the habit of walking in the garden – and later anywhere near Longbourn or Meryton – at least once a day. Jane also often offered her energy, especially on rainy days when she was forced to shorten her daily walk.

Another fact that was observed was that her abilities were not constant in their intensity. They were strongest at the full moon, and weakest at the new moon. Unfortunately, Elizabeth was physically unable to eat more to compensate, and was therefore always more easily tired around the new moon.

One will easily understand that those were not the best conditions for a growing child. And though Elizabeth was cheerful and happy with her eldest sister, her father and her aunt and uncle from London – first called by Mrs Bennet after 'The Incident', when she hoped to entrust them with the abnormal child – she was extremely careful around other people, and even fearful of her mother.

The second turning point happened when Elizabeth was five years old.

After seeing the young girl barge into his study, tears flowing because of her mother's latest remark, Mr Bennet decided to bring his daughter with him for his monthly tour of the estate.

Mr Bennet was not really a meticulous master of the estate, especially as he had now given up hope of siring an heir. Somehow, the thought of leaving his family home to an estranged and detested cousin did not incite much motivation. He was not however a cruel man, and would not forsake the tenants' lives by completely abandoning them, and he still needed to take care of his wife and daughters.

When they reached the first tenants they had to visit that day, he let Elizabeth play in the field while he talked to the tenants about which plant they should grow for the coming year. They were still hesitating between two, when Elizabeth approached, touched both seeds and affirmed with a bright smile that the first one would grow better. Having no reason to choose the other one, Mr Bennet shared a smile and a laugh with the tenant and followed the young girl's advice.

For the rest of the tour, he amusedly asked her for advice, and was quite surprised to see that, even when choosing between a dozen of seeds, her choice was always similar to what he had been taught by his own father. When her choice was different from his own, he asked the tenant to wait a couple more days.

Back at Longbourn, he researched the seeds she had suggested and the soil of these parts of the estate. He was once again surprised to see that the results supported her choice over his. He called his daughter in his study, and asked her how she had chosen the seeds.

''They were the one the soil wanted. I could feel it.'' was the answer of the now afraid child.

For Elizabeth was a clever child, and had realized that her instinctual knowledge was apparently as abnormal as her absorbing energy. Given her mother's reaction the last time a strange anomaly manifested itself, it was not surprising that she feared her father's reaction to this new development.

Having witnessed the young child heal herself – and occasionally Jane – almost instantly from wounds, Mr Bennet had long accepted that the usual rules of the world did not apply to her. Indeed, she barely ate and had to obtain her strength elsewhere during long walks, healed extremely quickly and was able to heal others – or at least Jane and himself, she refused to touch any other human – quite quickly as well, though this always left her exhausted.

Knowing this, it did not seem foolish to believe that her strange knowledge of which seeds would grow best on which soil might prove true. And useful.

Therefore, Mr Bennet decided to follow his daughter's advice.

The next year's crops were the best he had seen in a decade. And because he was a man who was content with his study and a few books, it did not trouble him to save the earnings for his daughters' future dowries. Also, insisting that this money would never have been obtained without Elizabeth helped him reduce the disparaging remarks Mrs Bennet threw at her second child.

In the years that followed, Elizabeth continued to choose the seeds every year. Realizing that her mother was happy with the money, she desperately tried to increase Longbourn's worth by other methods: she talked of improvements, irrigation and even investments with her father and uncle. Of course, she was at first too young to comprehend these notions, and her role was first limited to encouraging her father to make small improvements to the estate.

But as she grew older, she started to make the research herself, and encourage bigger improvements and investments. These decisions were not guided by her abilities – though it helped her know which field needed which improvement – but by her uncle's knowledge and the agricultural knowledge she found in books. Slowly, her father let her be in charge of more and more things in the managing of the estate.

By the time she was sixteen, one could say she was the real master of Longbourn, while Mr Bennet only showed up to make sure the directions where followed and for appearances sake. It would not do to have a young girl – barely out in society – behave like a man.

Elizabeth herself was unsure how to feel about this strange situation.

On the one hand, she was happy to help improve their current life and future prospects, as well as work with nature. Her father let her be much freer than a gentleman's daughter would usually be allowed. And her mother and younger sisters were much more tolerable now that she was the one who decided the amounts of pin money they were allowed, though there was no affection between them and herself. She also liked taking care of the tenants who were always kind to her, and often brought them healing herbs she identified and picked up during her walks – she could not heal them herself without exposing her unnatural abilities.

On the other hand, she felt more like a steward than a member of the family – except for dear Jane of course. Her relationship with her father had deteriorated, as she grew older and realized how little he had done to prevent the emotional abuse from her mother; and how he had slowly discharged all his responsibilities as master on her, happy to indulge his passion of books and philosophy.

But over the years, Elizabeth's duty to the land had become her drive. Though she no longer hoped to earn her mother's love through her efforts, she genuinely liked taking care of the land and its tenants.

She was also proud of her achievements. Thanks to the increased income of the estate – now six thousands a year – and investments in the various businesses her uncle suggested, the Bennet girls would have a dowry of ten-thousand pounds each. Of course, the money for all the younger girls dowries was not saved yet, but should be by the time they came out in society.

Elizabeth herself, however, had become extremely guarded. She acted cheerful – and she truly was around people she trust – but after only one year out in the Meryton society, everyone had realized that she was not a woman who would easily agree to a courtship. Indeed, she openly acknowledge her decision not to marry – ever.

''Why are you so determined not to be courted by any gentleman?'' Jane asked her one day.

''I can't afford to trust the wrong person.'' At Jane's confused stare, she sighed and continued ''You know what I can do must never be discovered. I would probably be burned for witchcraft, and all our family would be shunned by society. At best.''

''But how will you live? I mean, I know you like Longbourn, but you will not be able to live here forever. After… after Papa's death, where will you go?''

''I suppose I will impose on you from time to time, and enjoy teaching your children to play the piano very ill. But the rest of the time I will be happy to rent a small cottage in the country. With careful investment, the sum of my dowry is more than sufficient to have a comfortable home. And you know I have started working on a book of healing plants. I am sure I will be able to publish it in a few years.''

''But don't you want your own family? A loving husband and children?'' her sister insisted.

Lizzy's lips trembled. ''I do want it. But I have to be sensible. I could never hide this from my husband for long, and I would not wish to. I already have to hide it from our younger sisters and the servants, and I have no wish to keep hiding for the rest of my life.''

''But you could meet a gentleman you could trust. You know I have never been bothered by your gift, and neither are our father and aunt and uncle.''

''True. But how would I know I can trust this man? No, it will be safer and easier for everyone if I do not marry.''

''Lizzy…''

Elizabeth smiled. ''Please do not be so upset, dear Jane. If I ever meet a gentleman I can respect, admire, love and fully trust, and if this man becomes my suitor, I will give him a chance.''

''You are promising me this because you are sure it will never happen. And it makes me sad.''

''Please don't be, Jane. I am content with my decision.''


	2. Netherfield Park is let at last

''Have you heard, girls? Netherfield Park is let at last!'' Mrs Bennet exclaimed as soon as her last daughter entered the drawing room.

''Is it, Mama? It has stood empty for so long…'' Jane remarked.

Mrs Bennet did not let her finish. ''Yes, yes, it is certain. I have just heard it from Mrs Young. A Mr Bingley is to settle in the place by Michaelmas! Five-thousand a year at least! It is not as much as you deserve, dear Jane, but surely this young man will invite wealthy friends to his new home!''

This was probably the main drawback of their increased income: Mrs Bennet's expectations for her favourite daughters – Jane and Lydia – had raised with their dowries. And though it was true that said dowries would probably help them make better matches than they could have hoped for fifteen years ago, it was not reasonable to expect an earl as a son-in-law.

Elizabeth attempted to reason her mother. ''It is already a generous income, Mother. If he is as amiable as he is rich, then I do not think even Jane will be able to find a better suitor.'' she added with a smile towards her dear sister.

''Oh pish-posh, Lizzy! Jane can do much better than five-thousands! And how would you know how to judge a gentleman's worth? Jane has had a suitor once, unlike you.'' Mrs Bennet replied.

''You know I do not want to have a suitor anyway. But it does not mean…'' Elizabeth sighed.

''I know, I know. And it is probably for the best. I do not see what kind of man would want to have you as a bride. Now, go play in the music room or walk or whatever estate business you have to take care of. Your sisters and I have important things to discuss.'' Mrs Bennet concluded, before waving her away like a servant.

Elizabeth pursed her lips. Though she was used to her mother's hurtful remarks, to be treated so in front of her younger sisters was still hard. Before she could decide whether or not to reply, Jane stood up.

''That is unfair Mama! I believe I will accompany Lizzy on her walk, before I say something I know I will regret.''

She grasped her sister's arm and pulled her out of the room and up the stairs to fetch their pelisses. She only released her once they were safely in their chamber.

''We do not have to go walking if you do not want to.'' Elizabeth offered. ''I know you are not as fond of these long walks as I am.''

Jane smiled. ''I would indeed appreciate one of your long walks right now. I am afraid Netherfield Park's new tenants will make our mother harder to bear than usual.''

Jane had been almost as changed as Elizabeth because of her sister's abilities. Though her nature encouraged her to see the best in everyone, witnessing the dayly spiteful remarks her mother threw at her own daughter had made her painly aware that people were not always on their best behaviour. It did not, however, stop her from making excuses to explain their behaviour and forgiving them.

Elizabeth nodded. ''Just let me grab my basket.''

Half an hour later, the two sisters were walking down the path that led to Elizabeth's favourite clearing, laughing together, their mother's words already forgotten. They stopped from time to time as Elizabeth picked up several plants.

''Have you finally decided how to organize your book?'' Jane asked after the third brief pause, refering to the book on healing plants Elizabeth had been working on since they had entered society.

''Partly. I know how I will present each plant : drawings from different seasons, the soil it usually grows on, the healing properties and how to best use said properties. I am still at a loss about how to sort all the plants. By the symptoms they treat? By the areas where they grow? I want this book to be useful.''

''I am sure it will be. Many of our tenants have already beneficiated from your incredible knowledge.''

''Sometimes I wish I had the courage to use my abilities openly. To see a young boy die of a cold I could have healed if I had used more than herbs…'' she said, looking away to hide the tears the memory of the five-year-old Elliot boy brought to her eyes.

''You already do far more than you should for our family and Longbourn, Lizzy. No matter your gifts, you cannot save everyone.'' Jane said softly.

''I know. But it is still hard.'' She blinked away the tears as they reached the clearing.

Elizabeth deposited her basket on the grass and took out the blanket she always kept in so that she and Jane could sit down without staining their gowns. She then pulled out a few pencils and papers to sketch the plants she had gathered.

''No music today?'' Jane asked her with some surprise as she sat down next to her.

''Don't worry, Jane. I did not carry this harp all the way here only for the pleasure of looking at it! I simply want to make a few quick drawings of these plants while they are fresh.''

Despite her many duties in taking care of the estate, Elizabeth had also developped more conventional accomplishments. She was however very irregular in her practice of most of them, as she lacked time and, honestly, interest in those. Her most refined accomplishments were the harp, drawing and sewing. Otherwise, she preferred to employ her time in reading about various subjects.

She had first tried – and liked – the pianoforte, but Mary was often using the instrument, and she had no wish to display skills where her mother could barge in to criticize her. After some begging, her father had agreed to buy her a harp, an instrument she had discovered during one of her brief stays at her aunt and uncle's in London. She mostly played it when her mother was away in Meryton to gossip.

Two years ago though, her uncle had gifted her with a small lap harp she could carry in a basket to play outside the house. He had confessed that he had hoped she would bring it at the parties in the neighbourhood, but she had never done so. She prefered to use it when she needed to be away from the house. Music had always helped her sooth her mind, and came quite naturally to her.

Drawing and sewing were skills she had had to practice a lot and she was proud of how well she did in them. They had first been only necessary skills – to give the tenants an accurate description of the herbs they needed, and to repair the gowns she tore during her escapades. She had grown to like them over the years, though – especially drawing.

Once the sketches she needed were done, Elizabeth took her lap harp from her basket. It was a beautiful instrument, and probably the gift she favoured the most. It only had fifteen strings, and was therefore limited to two octaves, but the sound it produced was beautiful.

She settled the instrument on her lap and started to run her hands on the strings, playing whatever tune came to her mind, often switching to another melody before she had finished the previous one. The result was not always coherent, but Elizabeth was not trying to make a performance – simply to lose herself and Jane in the music so they may forget the turmoil of their family home for a few moments.

''Do you think Papa will call on Mr Bingley once he arrives?'' Jane asked after a few minutes.

Elizabeth replied without stopping her playing. ''Of course he will. Our mother is right that we do not often have the opportunity to make new acquaintances, and Papa cares about our prospects – though he is much more discreet about it than her.''

''I do not want Mama to push me towards a man I don't like.''

''I don't think you have to worry about this Mr Bingley. He is not an earl, and I doubt Mother would settle for anything less.'' She reassured her sister with a teasing smile.

''Probably. But I do not want her to pull me away from a man I may like either. Sometimes, I wonder if your choice is not the best one…'' Jane laughed.

Elizabeth smiled, and slowed her music. She let the last notes fade in the air around them then got up and put her harp back in the basket. Her sister helped her gather her sketches. They returned to Longbourn.

As soon as they reached the house, Mrs Bennet cornered Jane.

''Why did you stay outside for so long, Jane? What if your skin is tanned when Mr Bingley's friends arrive?'' Before Jane had had time to reply, Mrs Bennet continued. ''Oh, I wish you would go in London for the Season! Surely you would catch an earl, at least! You cannot be so beautiful for nothing!''

Elizabeth was trying very hard not to laugh at her mother's exclamations and exchanged a glance with Jane, mouthing 'I told you so'. Jane attempted to glare at her, but the effect was ruined by her smile.

''I told you Mama, I refuse to go to London without Lizzy. And she cannot spend a full Season in town.''

''I know, I know. This child is always going out of her way to vex me! She will ruin us all!''

''Mama! We would not have such dowries if not for Lizzy!'' She attempted to reason her mother.

Mrs Bennet huffed and returned to the drawing room.

Dinner that night was exhausting. The two youngest were giggling loudly, Mrs Bennet was lamenting her husband's refusal to call on Mr Bingley and Mary unsuccessfully tried to voice her own opinion on the matter. Mr Bennet retired to his study as soon as the last course was finished, while his eldest daughters endured another hour of their mother's ranting.

As they prepared for bed, Elizabeth breached a subject that had been troubling her for some time.

''I cannot go to town for a full Season, but our mother is right that your prospects are limited in Meryton. Mr Bingley will be the first new face since we entered society four years ago. You really should try and have a Season in town. I could accompany you the first few weeks.''

Because she depended on the energy she absorbed from other living beings, Elizabeth could not stay in town for very long. Walks in the park did not offer her enough energy – somehow, the amount she could absorb from each plant or animal was limited and never harmed the living being. Plus, it seemed the polluted air of the Town reduced the energy the trees could offer her.

Over time, Elizabeth would grow more and more tired, like someone suffering from malnutrition or insomnia.

Of course, she could also obtain energy from humans. But the energy was always accompanied by the emotions of the being, which made her very uncomfortable – it was an intrusion of privacy, and the terror she had felt from her mother when she was two was still vivid in her mind. She only did so with Jane, and never without her express authorization.

Plus, like what had happened with her mother, the person could feel what was happening. Therefore, she could not gather energy in town without revealing her secret.

As a consequence, it was physically impossible for Elizabeth to spend a full Season in town, especially if attending many tiring balls and outings.

''I would never feel comfortable enough without you, Lizzy. But you are right that we do not have many new acquaintances here. I promise you, if Mr Bingley or his friends fail to live up to our expectations, I will agree to go to town with you. I am not sure I will stay after you leave, though.''

Elizabeth hugged her sister. ''That's all I ask. I do not want you to miss your chance because of me. And it might be easier to find a suitor without our mother around.''

Jane smiled. ''In exchange, I expect you to fulfill your own promise of giving yourself a chance at happiness if you find a worthy gentleman.''

Elizabeth resisted the urge to roll her eyes – she doubted she would ever trust a gentleman enough to even entertain the idea of marriage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!  
> I should post chapter 3 next week-end ;)


	3. The Meryton Assembly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter from Darcy's perspective! Hope you enjoy ;)

They were late. Punctuality was one of the many thing Mr Darcy valued. Therefore, Miss Bingley's efforts to arrive 'fashionably late' were far from endearing her to him.

The idea of attending the local assembly where all the mothers and their single daughters was abhorring to him. And now, their late arrival would draw even more attention.

He sighed. Why on earth had he accepted to attend? Georgiana's near elopement was still weighing on his mind, making him question all of his actions as well as the actions of those around him.

Miss Bingley was a good example. Until his recent ruminations, he had considered her to be an affectionate sister, worried about her brother. He had had no problems in supporting her friendship to his own sister, as she was just as well mannered as the other ladies of his acquaintance. Now he realized her mercenary ways, her rudeness and her condescension to those less fortunate than her – which was quite hypocritical, given that her family came from trade.

What irritated him most was that, at some point over the last few months, Miss Bingley had decided that she would be the next Mistress of Pemberley. Even without his revelations about her character, he would never have considered her: he hoped for more than a dowry from his wife. Though the unspoken rules of society were that a wealthy gentleman like Mr Darcy should chose as his bride a well-dowered woman, preferably from a titled family, these were not the criterias he intended to look for in a wife.

His mother, Lady Anne Darcy, had died fifteen years ago. The years that followed proved two important things to the young Master of Pemberley. Firstly, that the estate could do perfectly well without a Mistress, as long as he employed a capable housekeeper – therefore, he did not see the point of marrying for the sake of the house, as he had often heard bandied about. Secondly, the despair of his father convinced him that, while wealth would bring him comfort, this comfort did not necessarily equal happiness.

Still, Mr Darcy would not pretend that he was looking for love in his future partner. He did not know if his own parents had loved each other when they married – he had never had the courage to ask his father – but they had been in love when she died. He had witnessed their happiness and his father's despair. The two facets of the same love.

His bride would have to be a woman he respected and admired, who could grow to love Pemberley and its tenants. A friend with whom he could exchange opinions. If love was to be a part of the match – whether it was before or after the wedding – then so be it. He would not defy the will of God. He would simply hope that the happiness would be worth the eventual despair.

Finally, Miss Bingley descended the stairs. Mr Darcy took a deep breath, threw a last longing look to the window of his bedroom and boarded the carriage after the others.

As he had predicted, the crowd stilled when they entered. No doubt that his and Bingley's worth was quickly spreading around the room. He took advantage of his height to quickly assess the people present.

It seemed most of the families were of small importance, meaning they were either from small estates or trade. He was not really surprised at this, but could not help a small feeling of disappointment. He doubted he would find a well-educated gentleman eager to discuss crops and philosophy in this neighbourhood. In fact, there even was a clear shortage of gentlemen.

As Bingley followed their host – Sir Lucas – he noticed they were heading towards the only family dressed in the last fashion with material that bespoke a generous income. Unfortunately, it seemed that no men – either father or brother – had accompanied the young ladies to the assembly. Still, it appeared to be the only acquaintance worth pursuing. As his friend asked for a dance with the eldest daughter – her name was Jane, and she resembled his own sister – he turned to ask for the second eldest, Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

He noticed that, while she did not have the classical beauty of her sister, she was quite handsome and dressed with taste in a simple green gown that complimented her complexion and eyes. The simple elegance was quite refreshing after being forced to compliment the horrid shade of orange Miss Bingley had insisted on wearing tonight.

As she accepted his offer, he saw her cast a wary glance at him and Bingley, followed by a worried one at her sister. Was she worried about making new acquaintances and seeking her eldest sister's support? Yet, she had seemed quite confident during the introductions.

He did not have much time to ponder the issue, however, as Mrs Bennet immediately started to enumerate the qualities of her 'dear girls'. Apparently, 'Dear Jane' was the local beauty, Miss Mary was an accomplished musician and the two youngest were 'most lively'. And somewhat too lively, in Darcy's opinion.

''Would you not rather dance with my Lydia, Mr Darcy? I assure you Lizzy won't mind. Indeed, her card is almost full, while it is Lydia's first season!'' She added joyfully.

Darcy forced his face to conceal the disgust he felt at such behaviour. He had foolishly hoped not to encounter matchmaking Mamas outside of London. Still, he felt that it would be stupid to offend the most important family of the neighbourhood.

''I am afraid Madam, that my honour as a gentleman prevents me from not fulfilling a promise to a lady. And as I am quite fatigued from my journey earlier today, I will not be able to enjoy any more dances than those I have already secured. I do have to dance with my host's sisters.''

He was proud of this statement. It ensured that he would not dance more than four sets – two with Bingley's sisters, one with Miss Elizabeth and one with Miss Bennet – and it would limit the expectations that could arise from him apparently singling out the young ladies.

''Surely a young man like you can handle more than a few dances after so short a journey?'' Mrs Bennet declared impatiently.

''Come on Mother, Mr Darcy is obviously tired. It is already quite kind of him to go through the trouble of an assembly on the very day he arrived in our neighbourhood.'' Miss Elizabeth intervened with a firm voice.

Before he could think of a reply, the music started again and a young man approached to claim her for this set. Their own set was scheduled two sets hence, and he used his own dance with Miss Bingley as an excuse to escape the Bennet mother.

Just before he found his place in the line of dancers, Sir Lucas approached him.

''Well, Mr Darcy, have you decided to try our local challenge?''

''I confess I do not understand your meaning, Sir.''

Usually, he would hate to be approached in such manner by so recent an acquaintance, but he was in no hurry to join Miss Bingley. And he found himself curious about this statement.

''Miss Elizabeth Bennet, of course! No man has been able to offer her a courtship since she entered society. Her sister Jane wants to marry for love and has had a couple of suitors, but Miss Elizabeth has made it no secret that she would not marry at all. With her dowry and beauty, you can easily guess that all the young men in this room have already tried to change her mind.''

''I simply intend to enjoy a couple dances with her and meet my friend's new neighbours.'' He replied, quite disturbed to hear the man speak of a gentleman's daughter with such disrespect.

However, he could not help but be surprised by Sir Lucas' revelations, and decided to watch his future dance partner. What kind of woman would wish to remain unmarried, and make this decision before even entering society? He felt he at least had the explanation of her wary glance when he and Bingley requested their dances: she was probably aware of what was said about her and tired of rejecting unwanted suitor. Most – if not all – of them being no more than fortune hunters, since she apparently had a substantial dowry.

He was therefore surprised to see her enjoy her dances and laugh with her partners and neighbours while he suffered through his dances with Miss Bingley and then Mrs Hurst. He had half expected a feminine version of himself, agreeing to dances only because of her mother's expectations and taking no pleasure from them – especially if she was forced to dance with people who had attempted to court her. But her eyes were constantly bright with laughter and happiness.

Finally, the time for their set arrived. Bingley, who had been eagerly awaiting his time with the fair Miss Bennet, reached the sisters first. Because of this, Mr Darcy was able to witness the wary stare Miss Elizabeth fixed on his friend, which only stopped when her sister turned and smiled at her.

At this instant, Mr Darcy felt reassured. He had recognized the gaze for what it was: protectiveness. Apparently, Miss Elizabeth took it upon herself to look after her sister and worried that his friend might be a fortune hunter. What was most comforting in this thought was that she would not worry about this if she or her sister were fortune hunters themselves. If affection grew between his friend and the young lady, he could support Bingley without fear.

In fact, he hoped that Bingley's interest in the young lady would prove constant. Her calm demeanour would complement his excitable friend, and it would be nice to see him happily settled with a gentlewoman instead of being deceived by another fortune hunter.

He offered his hand to Miss Elizabeth and led her to the dancing area. Now that he no longer had to worry about his friend, perhaps he could indulge himself a little and try to solve the mystery that was the woman facing him. He had always enjoyed riddles and enigma games as a child.

He forced himself to start a conversation.

''I understand your father choose not to attend the assembly, Miss Elizabeth?'' he asked, hoping to learn more about her family situation. It had not escaped his notice that the relationship between herself and her mother was strained. Mrs Bennet had failed to enumerate any qualities her second eldest may have.

''Indeed, my father often prefers to remain in his library. These events bring him little pleasure and exhaust him thoroughly.'' She answered with a smile. ''Since we are on the topic of family, why don't you tell me about your own?''

He searched her eyes, instantly fearing that she had somehow heard of Georgiana's near ruin. He only saw genuine curiosity and berated himself for the foolish thought.

''I am afraid we will exhaust this topic quite quickly, then. I only have one sister, Georgiana. She is several years younger than me, and not yet out. Our parents are both passed away.''

''Oh. I am sorry if I made you recall bad memories.'' She looked sincerely sorry and he felt the urge to ease her mind.

''Do not distress yourself. I have had years to come to terms with their deaths, and can now remember them with more happiness than despair.''

''It must have been hard to handle so many responsibilities so young.'' She stated softly.

He was surprised. The burden of heavy responsibilities was not something young ladies understood in his experience. He knew more than one young lady had been disappointed when he did not attend the London Season his first two years as Master of Pemberley.

But then he noticed his partner's far-away look, and realized that she must be speaking from personal experience. Given her mother's behaviour, her father's unwillingness to chaperone his daughters at assemblies and the worry she manifested for her elder sister, it was not hard to conclude that she was probably bearing the burden of managing her family's behaviour at any social gathering.

She visibly pushed the thoughts out of her mind, and smiled at him.

''I believe we should try to find a lighter topic to discuss. Assemblies are supposed to be enjoyed after all.''

He nodded in approval, while desperately searching for a conversation subject. He hated small talk, and had no wish to discuss the weather for the next half-hour – especially since it had been so rainy lately. Just as she was opening her mouth, he blurted:

''What kind of books do you enjoy reading?''

She laughed softly. ''Conversation in a ballroom is not your forte, is it? I have never had a gentleman ask this question during a dance before!''

Darcy fought the blush of shame and anger he felt rising on his cheeks. He did not appreciate her drawing attention to his social awkwardness. Apparently, she still noticed it.

''I am sorry Sir, I did not mean to offend you. I have no problem discussing books in a ballroom. I was simply surprised.''

He relaxed and they started to discuss their favourite books. He was surprised to find her well-educated in philosophy and poetry, as well as crops management. When he said so, she explained that, having no son, her father had devoted much time to her, encouraging her interest in a great variety of subject.

''I must confess that I had hoped to find a gentleman educated and impassioned by all these subjects. I hope I will have the opportunity to speak with your father. His estate seems extremely well managed.''

Miss Elizabeth's smile wavered for an instant, so short that he almost thought he had imagined it.

''Well, my father is not always eager for new acquaintances. I would not want to raise your expectations for a great debate with him as soon as introductions are over.''

''You can consider me forewarned, Miss Elizabeth. I will be patient if need be.''

The dance was almost over, and he fought with himself about broaching the subject of her strange reputation.

''I… Um, I was… made aware of something you should know, if you do not already.''

She looked at him expectantly.

''It seems you are a great subject of, well, speculation for young men. I found Sir Lucas quite disrespectful of you when he informed me of it.''

Much to his surprise, she laughed.

''Do not worry yourself, Sir. I am indeed quite aware of the situation, but not in the least bothered by it – though I agree Sir Lucas could have been less blunt and more respectful.''

She paused to glance at him. ''I see that you are surprised. I admit that my position was uncomfortable at first. But once my desire to remain single was accepted, I discovered unexpected benefits. All these young men are people I have known since childhood. I am happy that I got to keep their friendship while growing into adulthood: they do not have to worry about raising expectations as I have made my own decision quite clear. There is no hard feelings, and no awkwardness like I have often witnessed between young people pressured by their parents' expectations.''

She smiled mischievously. ''And because I never gossip, these young men have appointed me as their main confident and advisor when they find a lady they wish to pursue.''

''That is quite… extraordinary.'' was Darcy's answer. Once he surmounted his shock, he added wistfully. ''I envy you.''

It was true, he realized. He had no choice but to marry and produce an heir. He could not make the same choice and be freed of the overly accomplished daughters and their matchmaking mamas. If he could, would he be as carefree and happy as she seemed?

Her smile became sad. ''Do not envy me too much, Mr Darcy. The choice was not as easy as you seem to think.''

The music ceased as she finished this sentence. She curtsied and started to walk towards her sister and Bingley. Stunned by her statement, he remained still for several moments before shaking himself.


	4. Growing friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slightly longer chapter today. Enjoy!  
> I will update next week, around Christmas.

The rest of the assembly only served to confirm Mr Darcy's impressions on the neighbourhood in general and on the Bennet family in particular.

His dance with Miss Jane Bennet reassured him on the young woman's character – she was obviously quite shy but he could not reproach her this without being hypocritical. And judging by his friend's frequent looks at the fair Miss Bennet, they would probably call on the ladies of Longbourn in a few days.

The mother and youngest daughters were not the kind of people he would wish to associate with, but their behaviour was no worse than some families he had associated with in London. He would bear their company if it gave him the opportunity to meet Mr Bennet. He was convinced the man would be able to advise Bingley in estate management, and his knowledge of Hertfordshire's weather and soil would help facilitate his friend's transition into landed gentry.

On further reflection, it would be wise to remind Bingley not to show Miss Bennet too much attention if he had no intention of pursuing her. To alienate the Bennet family would ensure a difficult insertion in the neighbourhood. He wondered why he could not recall hearing about this family in town – the eldest daughters had surely had a season or two in London. Perhaps he should enquire about them to his Aunt Matlock?

On the carriage ride back to Netherfield, Bingley's sisters loudly commented on the out-of-fashion gowns of most of the ladies and the lack of manners of the gentlemen. They also insisted on their wishing to further their acquaintance with Miss Jane Bennet.

''She seems to be the only fashionable lady in this neighbourhood. I told you, Charles, that those people of the country were not ones we should associate with. Not if we want to improve our standing in town. Don't you agree, Louisa?'' Miss Caroline sneered.

''Indeed. I daresay I can even understand Miss Elizabeth Bennet's views on marriage: if I had only known such company, I would have no wish to marry either. It is quite sad that Miss Bennet and her sister did not attend a season in London.'' Her sister exclaimed. ''But at least we will be able to discuss fashion with sweet Jane. This is more than I had expected when joining you in Hertfordshire.''

Mr Darcy listened to the sisters' opinions with disgust – though his face remained impassive. How could they wish to be part of the landed gentry if they hated the country with such a passion? He sighed. He knew the answer already, and their attitudes was no different than many of his old university acquaintances: the land was merely an easy way to earn a comfortable amount of money. And with a capable steward, one did not even have to lift a finger to do so. He had quickly realized at Eton and then Cambridge that only a handful of heirs actually cared for the estate itself, instead of the money and pleasures it could bring them. He had been happy when Bingley decided to try his hand at estate management – the man deserved it, and would treat the land and its tenants well.

The following day, Mr Darcy took advantage of the fact that Bingley and his sisters still kept to town hours. He had his stallion saddled and decided to ride around the borders of the Netherfield estate. If he was to advise his friend, he had to acquaint himself with the most urgent problems to resolve. After standing empty for several years, it was bound to show some signs of neglect.

Giving his head to the horse, he relished the thrill of speed. A good gallop always helped him clear his mind, and he had slept little last night, his worry for Georgiana resurfacing as soon as the distraction of the assembly disappeared. He would have to write her later today.

As he approached the fence, he reigned in the horse and slowed the pace. Apparently, the estate next to Bingley's had taken good care of the border between the two estates. There would be no need to repair it, but a visit to thank the master of the estate would be a good suggestion to his friend. Having the support and good opinion of your neighbours had always proved helpful in Darcy's experience.

He noticed a form walking down the lane on the other side of the fence. He was surprised to recognize Miss Elizabeth Bennet once she got closer. She smiled and greeted him.

''Good morning to you as well, Miss Elizabeth. I confess I did not expect to encounter anyone so early in the morning after last night's assembly.'' He said.

''I have always lived in the country, Sir. I find that I am now unable to sleep late, even after a tiring ball. I will simply have to retire early tonight to recover.'' She explained, adjusting the basket on her arm.

''I was just thinking that your father was kind to have taken such care of the fence. I shall remind Bingley to thank him when we call at Longbourn.''

''Are you inspecting the estate already? You seem eager to get to work, Sir! I shall not detain you further.'' She declared with a small laugh.

He nodded and bowed from the saddle while she curtsied. As she was starting to walk away, she stopped, hesitated and turned towards him again.

''If I may, Mr Darcy, I suggest you go to the south of the estate. The tenants have suffered from last spring's flood. They barely grew enough wheat to feed their children.'' Without waiting to see his reaction, she hurried down her path.

Mr Darcy was in fact pleasantly surprised. She obviously cared for the tenants – he guessed the content of her basket was probably destined to a family from her own father's estate. He was now glad that they had discussed last night. Indeed, if he had not known of her firm decision not to marry, he might have considered courting Miss Elizabeth. So far, she had showed many of the qualities he looked for in a wife and no insurmountable flaw.

He shrugged. His heart was not attached to Miss Elizabeth, and at least their acquaintance proved him that such women existed. Though perhaps he had been foolish to expect he would find one in town. He would have to keep this piece of information in mind.

He turned his stallion and headed south. If she had seen it necessary to indicate the tenants residing there, their situation was probably dire. He knew from experience that tenants were often proud and only asked for help when they knew they may not survive without it. This meant that she had either heard about it from her own tenants, or she had helped them herself. In both cases, Bingley would probably have to make sure to provide them with food and blankets for the coming winter.

Once he reached the small cottage, the situation was mostly what he had expected. The only exception was the state of the field: it was quite muddy, probably from the heavy rains of the last few days. But it should have started to dry since then. He discussed it with the tenants, and quickly understood that the soil was often soaked, and this year was not the first time they lost a good part of their harvest because of it. One of Bingley's and his priorities would be to find a way to drain this part of the estate.

The next couple of days passed in a similar manner. Mr Darcy would get up early for a ride near the border with the Longbourn estate, exchange a quick greeting with Miss Elizabeth – both were mindful of propriety and did not try to prolong the unchaperoned encounters – and then spend the rest of the day advising his friend on the repairs and improvements needed. This organization had the clear advantage that he only had to put up with Caroline Bingley during dinners and evenings.

The fourth day after the assembly, Bingley declared that it would be rude to wait any longer to call on their neighbours. Darcy followed him as he quickly visited the Lucas – who extended an invitation to a small dinner – and another family, before heading to Longbourn. It did not escape his notice that his friend had scheduled this visit last, allowing them to linger if they wanted.

Mr Bingley left Longbourn quite satisfied with the visit – he had been able to secure a seat next to Miss Bennet and spent most of the half hour visit talking privately with her, despite Mrs Bennet frequent interruptions. From her loud exclamations, it appeared that she did not approve of her eldest and beautiful daughter forming an attachment with a young man worth 'only five thousands a year'. Fortunately, Mr Bingley was too amiable to take offence and, frankly, too lovesick to even notice most of the mother's remarks.

Mr Darcy, however, had been somewhat disappointed. Mr Bennet had not even left his study to greet the guests, and Mrs Bennet had kept addressing him, leaving him with no options but to attend her and her daughters. He had wished to try and ask to discuss estate business with Mr Bennet but had found no opening in the conversation to voice his request. In the end, he had spent the visit flinching at the remarks directed at his friend and trying to speak as little as possible.

The one thing that had intrigued him was once again Miss Elizabeth. She had been perfectly amiable, but strangely withdrawn, not participating much in the conversation. He had noticed the stern looks she gave her sisters – and sometimes her mother – when their behaviour became too intolerable. It seemed that she was indeed the one managing her family during social visits or assemblies.

The next day, the Netherfield party went to Lucas Lodge to enjoy a dinner with only a few families of Meryton and the freshly arrived officers. Mr Bingley was elated at the perspective of another evening with his angel, while Mr Darcy hoped to finally meet Mr Bennet and enjoy a sensible discussion with the local gentlemen – and avoid the matchmaking mamas.

Meanwhile, the Bennet ladies – for Mr Bennet once again decided to remain in the sole company of his books – were eagerly anticipating the dinner as well. Lydia and Kitty wanted to meet the officers, Mary wished to play the new sonata she had been practising and Jane hoped to have an opportunity to speak with the man she was coming to admire. Elizabeth was simply glad for the occasion to spend some time with her dear friend Charlotte, the eldest daughter of Sir William Lucas. She wanted to hear her opinion on the relationship developing between her sister and Mr Bingley.

Though Miss Lucas agreed that the affection between them was obvious, she was unsure whether Jane's tender feelings were as evident to a near stranger. Mr Bingley had only met her a few days ago, and couldn't possibly be able to read her shy expressions yet.

''Even I have trouble guessing your sister's thoughts sometimes, Elizabeth. I truly believe you are the only person in Meryton capable of doing so.'' Charlotte cautioned. ''Love cannot blossom if it is not nourished. She will have to show more of her feelings if she wants Mr Bingley to continue his attentions.''

Elizabeth laughed happily at the suggestion, though she inwardly acknowledge the truth of her friend's statement. Over the years, Jane had become more willing to speak her mind but she did not confide as easily. In fact, her own ability to feel her sister's emotions when she absorbed her energy had made them develop a form of silent communication. When she was unable to voice her feelings, Jane would simply offer her hand to her younger sister. Sometimes, it was Elizabeth who would grab her elder sister's hand and push some energy in her, allowing her to feel for herself the current turmoil that disturbed her younger sister's mind.

No one but the two sisters knew about this – Charlotte did not know about her abilities either – and now, Elizabeth worried that they had encouraged and nurtured a crippling shyness in Jane. She hoped Mr Bingley would be willing to voice his own feelings, for she feared Jane had too little experience to do so without strong encouragement from the object of her affections.

She noticed her younger sisters were starting to become too loud, and excused herself from Charlotte in order to cross the room and remind Kitty and Lydia that their pin money was dependent on their behaviour. Loudly asking their sister Mary for a jig did not qualify as proper behaviour.

Before she could reach them however, she was accosted by Sir Lucas whom she thanked for his kindness to Mary – complimenting her on her music after Lydia's hurtful remark. When Mr Darcy passed near them, he encouraged the dark gentleman to dance with her, but she politely refused before he could even ask. She claimed that she was not in the mood for a dance tonight, smiling and looking at Mr Darcy to make sure her reply had not offended him. She was reassured when he replied with a smile of his own and declared that he would be happy to discuss books instead. She agreed and indicated him a comfortable sofa away from the dance so they may speak in relative peace. Before following him, she shot a significant look to her younger sisters who frowned but lowered their voices.

Satisfied, she sat next to Mr Darcy and spent the rest of the evening with him, asking how the work on the Netherfield estate was going on. He took the opportunity to thank her for her advice about the southern part of it, and assured her that the tenants would be well cared for. The conversation then flowed from one subject to another: litterature, agriculture, philosophy, even poetry which she confessed she rarely discussed with others.

''And why such reluctance to discuss the works of Keats?'' He asked.

''Am I to understand that he is your favourite poet, Mr Darcy?'' She retorted.

''In fact, no. I prefer the Bard. It is however my duty as a gentleman to point out that you have yet to answer the question, Miss Elizabeth.'' He replied in mock seriousness.

''Indeed you are mistaken, Sir.'' At his raised eyebrow, she added teasingly. ''A true gentleman would never bring attention to a lady's unfortunate mistake.''

They shared a discreet laugh. Mr Darcy was surprised at the ease and pleasure he had in speaking with the young woman.

''Well then I should probably ask you who your favourite poet is instead?''

''I quite enjoy Shakespeare as well. Recently though, I have discovered the works of Blake.'' She explained. ''Some of his words find a great echo in me.''

''Will you share them with me?'' Hoping the quote would help understand the enigma that was Miss Elizabeth.

She smiled. '' _Excessive sorrow laughs. Excessive joy weeps_.''

He frowned. ''Do you consider yourself to be the joy or the sorrow?''

Her smile widened. ''And this, Sir, is the one of the reason I love the quote.''


	5. At Netherfield

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5! Merry Christmas to you all (a few days early, I know) and see you next week!

Two days later, a worried Elizabeth was reading a note from Netherfield. Her sister Jane had been invited to tea by Miss Bingley the previous day, and been forced to spend the night there because of their mother's machinations. She had hoped to force a dinner with Mr Darcy and had given firm instructions to Jane to pay more attention to the gentleman from Derbyshire.

 

And now, Jane was sick. The downpour had started before she could reach the house and she had fainted from fever during tea. In her note, Miss Bingley reassured the Bennets that it was merely a cold and that the apothecary would visit Miss Bennet in the morning.

 

Unwilling to listen to her mother's raptures over her plan working so well and to let her sister suffer when she had the means to help her, Elizabeth announced her intention to go to Netherfield – Mrs Bennet protested but dared not argue too much because of the presence of the younger daughters and the servants. Besides, it had become usual over the years to have Lizzy prescribe plants to help recovery.

 

The paths were quite muddy, her basket filled with her notes and various plants that Jane might need. Though she wanted to reach her sister's side as soon as possible, Elizabeth forced herself to pause in the woods to gather energy. She would probably need it to heal Jane – or at least hasten her recovery, she did not want their new neighbours to be suspicious – and she did not know when she would have the opportunity to take a long walk while tending to her dear sister.

 

She was nearing Netherfield House when she noticed the tall figure of a man walking in her direction. She recognized Mr Darcy and curtsied as soon as they were close enough for proper greetings. He bowed and confessed that he had seen her approach. He immediately reassured her that her sister was no worse than she was last evening, though her fever had yet to break.

 

''Mr Blake, the apothecary, has been sent for. Unfortunately, he was called to a sick family and will not be able to check on Miss Bennet for another hour at least.'' He concluded with a stiff posture.

 

She could easily guess that he was used to having the best care for his guests and that he considered this announcement almost a failure – even if he was only a guest himself, he was also his friend's advisor. And she could not deny that many in the gentry would be offended at coming in second behind a merchant or tenant family.

 

However, it was well known in Meryton that Elizabeth was quite knowledgeable in healing plants and roots, and as a consequence the Bennet family seldom required the skills of the local apothecary. Mr Blake had first been offended by this dismissal and had insisted on testing her knowledge. She had accepted the challenge hesitantly, sure that she could pass it easily but fearing what it might reveal about her abilities. Thankfully, the apothecary never questioned where she learned so much and simply assumed she was an avid botanist and reader.

 

Thus began an odd friendship, the two of them exchanging recent medical publications and Elizabeth often gifting him plants gathered during her walks. He had refused them the first time, but she convinced him to think of it as a compensation for taking away part of his work with the Bennet family and tenants. Besides Jane, he was the only person in Meryton who knew of her intention to eventually publish a book.

 

''Do not distress yourself, Mr Darcy. I am sure this family needs more care than Jane, and I have brought enough to care for my sister's cold until Mr Blake is free to attend her.'' She assured with a smile.

 

The gentleman bowed in acknowledgement and proceeded to escort her into the house. There she was greeted by the rest of the party. She could tell the smiles from Mr Bingley's sisters were forced, but was not overly worried about it – they were quite clearly of those people who valued wealth and rank over anything else. Jane's dowry might not equal Miss Bingley's, but she was born gentry and the Bennets were now wealthy enough not to be easily overlooked. Elizabeth suppressed her smile at the look of horror that flashed on Miss Caroline's face when she glanced at her muddied petticoat.

 

Mr Bingley however was genuinely happy to welcome her, insisting that she stayed at least until the apothecary examined her sister, and then for luncheon. She gladly accepted – she intended to heal Jane her way, but would need time and privacy to do so. She noticed Mr Darcy quick escape through a nearby door before Miss Bingley could turn her attention towards him and had to conceal another amused smile.

 

She was led to her sister's sickroom, where she found Jane sleeping fitfully. Glancing quickly behind her to make sure the door was closed and no one could look into the room, she removed her gloves and put her right hand on her sister's forehead. She concentrated, trying to ease her sister's comfort but careful of not fully healing her either – a sudden miraculous recovery would be suspicious. She doubted people would immediately think that someone had strange healing abilities, but she was wary of Caroline Bingley and did not want to give the woman an opportunity to accuse Jane of faking the cold.

 

Jane awoke as soon as she removed her hand and smiled weakly at Elizabeth.

 

''You shouldn't do that here, Lizzy. It is merely a cold, your plants will be more than enough to help me recover.'' She reproached half-heartedly. She knew that her younger sister was too stubborn to listen to advice – no matter how sound it was – once she had decided on a course of action.

 

''No one will know, Jane. And I _was_ careful not to  make you heal too fast. Indeed, I believe some time away from our mother and close to Mr Bingley will do wonders for your health!'' Elizabeth teased while pulling out some white willow bark.

 

Jane blushed and was starting to protest when she noticed the bark. She immediately made a  most unladylike grimace.  She had no passion for plants like Elizabeth, but she had picked up several tricks over the years. One of these was that chewing willow bark helped break a fever – and that bark was not exactly tasty.

 

''Do I really have to take this? I thought elderberry flowers had the same effects. ''

 

Elizabeth grinned. ''They do, mostly. But I have much more bark, so I would rather save the flowers. I will give you some later, though. They are more efficient for respiratory problems.''

 

They did not discuss much – Jane could not talk while chewing on the willow –  and Mr Blake was announced sooner than expected.

 

When he noticed Elizabeth, he smiled and laughed, turning towards Mr Bingley to ask him why on earth he had called him if Miss Elizabeth Bennet was already nursing her sister.  Mr Darcy was the first to recover from the shock of this unexpected reaction and beg for an explanation.  Thus began a short narrative of his first discussions with Elizabeth Bennet – barely fifteen at the time he arrived in Meryton – and of the small test he had her pass.  The gentlemen were clearly impressed with the story and the obvious respect between the apothecary and the second Miss Bennet.

 

Since he was already here, Mr Blake quickly  examined Jane, confirming that it was nothing more than a cold and that she should be  fully recovered in a few days.  He refused the payment Mr Bingley offered, stating that the task  of nursing Miss Bennet back to health fell to Miss Elizabeth and he did not feel comfortable being paid for someone else's work.  Mr Bingley managed to pay him half-price –  ' ' you did take the time to come and examine Miss Bennet '' , he argued –  and then extended an invitation to Elizabeth to stay at Netherfield until her sister was able to go home. Elizabeth gladly accepted.

 

She was reluctant to leave her sister alone during dinner, but Jane was sleeping and she owed it to her hosts to come down and dine with them. Moreover, she expected Mr Bingley to be awaiting news of her sister's health.  She changed in one of  the evening gown s a footman had retrieved from Longbourn – two trunks full of clothes and other necessities had arrived an hour earlier. As she prepared to descend the stair s , Mr Darcy came up behind her and offered his arm. She took it.

 

''I believe you downplayed your skills as a caretaker this morning.'' He observed.

 

Elizabeth smiled but shook her head slightly. ''Not as much as you appear to believe, Sir. It is true that I know a lot about the healing properties of plants, but this knowledge is sadly limited to the flora of Hertfordshire,  and has its limitations. There are many things for which roots and leaves are  cruelly insufficient.''

 

He nodded solemnly. ''I know. My own father died five years ago, from a cancer. I  confess I was very angry at the physician and apothecary for a while. They kept giving him herbs and tinctures, but he was fading fast. It took many conversations with my father and  his other caretaker s to understand that nothing could heal him, and that the herbs were only meant to make his life more comfortable. ''

 

''I am sorry for your loss, Sir. I am well aware of the helplessness one feels when they can only watch as someone they know slowly dies.'' She did not attempt to offer any more platitudes. She had only met Mr Darcy a fortnight ago, and this was the first time she had heard of his father. What could she possibly say that would not sound false?

 

They reached the drawing room, and Mr Darcy dropped her arm before the door opened. Though she was first surprised by this somewhat rude behaviour, she soon realized what had caused it for Miss Bingley nasal voice could be heard through the door – discussing London fashion with her sister.

 

During dinner, she noticed that the others were frequently looking in her direction, even when not addressing her. She was puzzled by this as she could not account for it.  She had already shared her news of Jane's improvement and need to rest, so they could not be waiting for her to speak up. And why did Mr Bingley appear so uncomfortable, Miss Bingley almost furious and Mr Darcy worried?

 

Finally, the dark gentleman cleared his throat. ''Miss Elizabeth, are you feeling well?''

 

''Perfectly so, Sir.  Did something make you think otherwise? '' She wondered, confused.

 

Mr Bingley shifted uncomfortably. ''Pray, tell me if you do not like the meal. I can ask our cook to prepare you something else.''

 

Elizabeth glanced down at her  barely-touched plate and then at the  nearly  empty plates in front of her dinner companions. Over the years, people in Meryton had grown used to her eating very little in comparison to her sisters, and she often slipped part of her food in Jane's plate as a child so her mother would not scold her for insulting their hosts. She had not thought of the fact that, as newcomers in Hertfordshire, Mr Bingley and his party would not know of this habit.

 

She smiled kindly and let out a small laugh. ''Oh, do  forgive me, Mr Bingley, Miss Bingley. I have never had much appetite, even as a child. The meal is delicious, and I offer my congratulations to your cook. I am simply unable to eat more than I already have. I did not mean to offend – our neighbours  know me since childhood, and stopped questioning this habit years ago. I am afraid I grew so used to it that I did not realize how strange it would seem to you. I apologize for making you all uncomfortable.''

 

Mr Bingley visibly sighed with relief and Miss Bingley's frown lessened. Mr Darcy remained worried, though.

 

''Why do you eat so little? I do not mean to pry, but I do not understand how you can remain healthy with so little sustenance.''

 

If she had not seen his worried stance, she would probably have been offended – he had absolutely no right to question her eating habits.  But she remembered the same worry in the eyes of her father and her aunt and uncle Gardiner when she was a child and it became evident that she was physically unable to eat more than very limited amounts.  They had all tried to force her to eat more and she had always felt sick immediately after. They all resigned themselves to the situation once they  made sure that she gained enough energy from her walks to compensate for it.

 

''The question is not  _why_ , Mr Darcy,  for it is not a choice of mine . I have never been able to eat more, but I am healthy and have enough energy to go through my usual activities. I have long stopped wondering about a phenomenon for which I have no explanations and that do es not harm me.'' She replied with a shrug, hoping to convey enough disinterest with the subject for it to be dropped.

 

Apparently, the reassurance was enough for Mr Darcy because he simply nodded and returned to clearing his own plate.


	6. A Bennet visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6! Still at Netherfield ;)

After closing the door to her sister's bedroom, Elizabeth leaned against it and let out a sigh of relief. It had been far too long since she had spent an evening with new acquaintances and, after the awkward dinner, she had found herself questioning her every reactions, fearing she might do something else that could raise suspicions.

 

Fortunately, it appeared that Miss Bingley was far more preoccupied with Mr Darcy or discussing jewels and lace with her sister. Mr Hurst had quickly settled down on a sofa to sleep away his wine, while the two other gentlemen had spent the first part of the evening discussing estate matters quietly. Elizabeth had attempted to read a book, but soon found herself listening to them instead – though she kept her eyes on the volume and turned the pages at regular intervals. She had drawn enough attention to herself for the night.

 

Miss Bingley, however, had soon felt quite deprived of attention and invited her to walk around the room. Elizabeth had agreed and suffered the questions the woman had probably planned to ask Jane before she fainted the day before. She had the impression that Miss Bingley was searching for any reason to object to the obvious attraction between her brother and Jane, and frustrated that she could not find one.

 

Shaking herself, Elizabeth glanced at her sister. Jane was sleeping peacefully. Elizabeth prayed that Mr Bingley's attention s would prove constant, for she was convinced that Jane had already let him in her heart. The gentleman was clearly fascinated by her fair sister, but their acquaintance was still new, and after Charlotte's remark she feared that his young feelings might be discouraged by Jane's serene countenance. She would have to talk to Jane about it once she was recovered.

 

Her other worry for Jane's happiness was, of course, Mr Bingley's likely rejection of their family if her abilities were discovered. Though no one had questioned her any further after dinner, she had felt the eyes of the gentleman from Derbyshire on her person, especially after her short walk around the room with Miss Bingley. She could not remember saying or doing anything unusual,  however, so she decided that he had perhaps expected her to faint after her light dinner – he had seemed quite worried when she explained her lack of appetite after all.

 

The following day, Elizabeth rose early and decided it was probably safer to forego her usual walk. Instead, she went to the stables after grabbing a couple of apples from the breakfast room. Her intention was to check on Nelly, to ensure the horse had not suffered from the heavy rain as Jane had, and then to gather energy from the horses. An animal – and especially tall and powerful animals like horses – always offered more energy than plants or trees.

 

When she entered the stables, she was reassured as Nelly greeted her in her usual quiet way, and she went to the mare to stroke her neck. Quickly glancing around to make sure no one else was there, she removed her gloves and rested her hands on Nelly's head.

 

It had been Jane's idea, back when they were children, that she tried to take energy from the animals of the estate on rainy days. Elizabeth loved animals, but was afraid of using her abilities on one, convinced that it would make them afraid of her. Finally, after nearly a fortnight of constant rain, she had relented – she was tired and no longer had the strength to argue with her sister. Unlike what she did with plants, however, Elizabeth did her best to obtain the animal's consent. First, she gave the animal some of her own energy, so that the animal could feel that she meant no harm. Then, she slowly began to draw energy from him, ready to stop at the first sign of fear or discomfort. Afterwards, she thanked the animal by offering him a treat and allowing him to feel her gratefulness.

 

Nelly was quite used to this ritual and nudged the young woman's hand for her treat as soon as Elizabeth released her head. With a laugh, Elizabeth gave it to her while gently petting her.

 

Unfortunately, healing Jane and the stress of the previous evening had taken a lot out of her, and she knew that she would need more energy to face the day – especially if she decided to hasten Jane's recovery to shorten their stay at Netherfield.

 

Therefore, she walked further in the stables and ended in front of the stallion she had seen Mr Darcy riding. The horse was grey, with a few darker spots on his back, and apparently quite spirited this morning. She remembered that the horse had always appeared calm when Mr Darcy happened upon her walks. Hopefully, no one would notice if the horse was a little less spirited for a couple of days.

 

Slowly, she approached the horse and repeated the process she had just done with Nelly. The horse seemed to recognize her and let her take some energy. When she was done, she petted him and offered him the second apple.

 

''You know, I just realised that I did not even know your name, despite your being the only horse in these stables I have met more than once. Aside from Nelly, of course.'' She commented as the horse chewed his treat.

 

''His name is Sonata.'' A deep voice said behind her. She jumped and turned to face the man.

 

It was Mr Darcy. Which was not surprising, now that she thought about it. He was probably preparing for his usual morning ride.

 

''I am sorry, Miss Elizabeth, I did not mean to startle you.'' He apologized.

 

''Apology accepted, Mr Darcy. I was simply surprised – no one else was here when I entered.'' She smiled. ''May I ask why your horse is named Sonata? It suits him, but I have never encountered a gentleman's stallion bearing this name.''

 

He answered her smile with one of his own, and stepped closer to stroke the horse's neck. She instinctively stepped back to avoid touching the gentleman accidentally with her still ungloved hands.

 

''That is because I did not name him myself. My father offered it to me as a foal about six years ago. Just before the illness started to rob him of his strength.'' His eyes clouded a little, until he shook his head slightly and continued. ''Anyway, he is the first horse that was truly mine. I wanted to give him a good name. I must have spent nearly a week trying several names of mythology, history and literature famous character. But none of them satisfied me. Then, my sister who was about nine at the time, said that all the spots on his back looked like musical notes. So she named him Sonata.''

 

''Well then, I should thank you, Sonata, for your kindness to me this morning, and wish you, Mr Darcy, an enjoyable morning ride!'' Elizabeth replied cheerfully.

 

Mr Darcy watched her as she left the stables. He was certain that something had been different in her appearance today, but could not find it until he saw the gloves she held in her left hand. Her hands. That was what had been different. He had never seen her bare hands before. Fashion dictated that women often wear gloves, but Miss Elizabeth had obviously removed them before petting the horses.

 

He started to saddle his horse – he always prepared Sonata himself for their morning ride. He had not really expected to encounter Miss Elizabeth this morning, expecting her to be tired from tending to her sick sister. Yet, she was clearly fine. However, _he_ did not feel as rested as he wished. He had had trouble falling asleep, his mind refusing to settle. Which was Miss Bingley's fault.

 

Indeed, after dinner she had invited Miss Elizabeth to walk with her. He did not even have to look at Bingley's sister to determine her goals : assess the suitability of Miss Bennet as a potential bride for her brother, and display her figure to its advantage before his eyes. She had not accomplished either. But she had, quite involuntarily, offered him to admire Miss Elizabeth.

 

Oh, he had acknowledge during their first meeting that she was a handsome woman, though not as classically beautiful as her elder sister. But he had been more fascinated by her mystery and intelligent conversation. Somehow, at some time in their acquaintance, he had almost forgotten that she was a woman instead of a fellow gentleman.

 

This night, while he had quite enjoyed the way she answered Miss Bingley's condescending questions most amiably but without truly giving her the information she obviously sought, he had found himself admiring her figure, and especially her eyes which sparkled with mischief when she answered.

 

Mr Darcy climbed in the saddle and urged his stallion towards the fields. He needed a good gallop to clear his head.

 

He had retired shortly after Miss Elizabeth, and spent the evening reviewing their every encounters, surprising himself with the amount of details he remembered. She had, for example, the habit to touch one of her hand with the other when someone addressed her. Her eyes expressed her feelings much more genuinely than her smile and words did. A lot of physical details he was surprised, both to have neglected until then and to remember so well.

 

He reached the field and gave Sonata his head. The horse immediately raced across the field, but his speed was not as great as his usual wont. Worried, Mr Darcy reigned him in and paid more attention to the stallion. He was not lame, nor did he seem to be in any pain. He was simply behaving like he usually did after a full day of travelling. But he had not rode him in two days.

 

He turned back and decided to return to the stables. It was probably nothing, but Sonata was the last gift his father had given him, and he was more than willing to give up his morning ride for his sake. He entrusted his horse to the stable boy who had just arrived, with firm instructions to warn him if the horse started to show any sign of pain or illness. Then he returned to the house – Bingley and his sisters would awaken soon.

 

He was quietly breaking his fast, and still waiting for Bingley, when the butler – in a disapproving tone – announced Mr Bennet. It was quite early for a visit, but Mr Darcy was eager to finally meet the Master of Longbourn – and his eldest daughter was sick, so he probably had a right to visit despite the early hour.

 

A man entered. He was well-built, though it was quite obvious that he did not favour sports and neared his sixties. His eyes were sharp, and reminded him of Miss Elizabeth.

 

''Mr Bennet, I am delighted to make your acquaintance. I am Mr Darcy of Pemberley, Derbyshire.'' Mr Darcy greeted.

 

''Pleased to make your acquaintance then, Mr Darcy. You obviously know who I am, and I confess that small talk and pleasantries bore me. I came here to see my daughters. Could you lead me to them?''

 

''Of course Sir.'' He was slightly disappointed that he could not discuss with the gentleman, but he could not condemn a father for wanting to see his children rather than oblige society's rules. God knows he would probably have been even shorter if Georgiana was sick.

 

He noticed the bundle of letters Mr Bennet carried but did not know how to enquire about these without prying. Fortunately for him, Mr Bennet noticed his interest and explained.

 

''These are all the letters that arrived for my daughters Jane and Elizabeth over the last two days. If they are to remain at Netherfield for a few more days, they might appreciate having their correspondence to amuse themselves.''

 

Mr Darcy felt his eyebrows rise at this. It was an awful lot of letters for two unattached young ladies. Or perhaps they had many friends outside of Hertfordshire? He could not recall either of the Bennet sisters mentioning a trip anywhere but in London.

 

Mr Darcy indicated Miss Bennet's door and excused himself, offering Mr Bennet to join him in the morning room afterwards – Bingley should be up by then, and they would be able to discuss estate management once Mr Bennet saw for himself that his eldest daughter was well on her way to recovery. Besides, his thoughts about Miss Elizabeth were still confused, and he did not feel like facing her a second time this morning.

 

Elizabeth was happy to see that her father had taken the trouble to visit, but slightly disappointed when she realized that at least part of his purpose was to give her the few business letters that had accumulated during her short absence. She sighed and promised to take care of these during Jane's nap, then forced herself to smile and enjoy the short visit with her father. He informed them of what was going on at Longbourn – which was not much – and jokingly added that Mrs Bennet had instructed him to 'remind Jane of the true purpose of her stay in Netherfield'.

 

Mr Bennet left after a half-hour visit, and Elizabeth settled at the writing table to work her way through the letters while Jane gratefully took her elderberry flowers – she had finally accepted to give her those instead of the bark.

 

She hoped her father would not stay too long with Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy, for she feared the gentleman from Derbyshire would quickly realize that her father did not have the knowledge nor the motivation to manage an estate. She did not need to raise the suspicions of this clever gentleman.


	7. Sisterly talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!

Mr Bingley was still breaking his fast when Mr Bennet left Jane's sickroom. He warmly invited the master of Longbourn to join them for the meal – or at least some tea as he had probably eaten already – but Mr Bennet declined, claiming that he had an important letter to write and send. Mr Darcy resigned himself to waiting until his next encounter with the gentleman to ask him about the management of Longbourn.

Shortly after his departure, Miss Elizabeth came downstairs to announce that her sister would probably be able to join them after dinner if she rested enough during the day. Mr Bingley and his sisters immediately exclaimed happily at such news, though Darcy doubted the genuineness of Miss Bingley. Jane Bennet was a gentlewoman by birth, and her family clearly enjoyed a good income, but Miss Bingley had always hoped that her brother's wife would have more connections in town. Unfortunately for her, Miss Bennet had displayed perfect manners and a sweet and kind character, leaving her with very few arguments to persuade Charles of the inadvisability of the match.

Elizabeth returned upstairs to take care of Jane. They had agreed that it was safer for Lizzy's secret to hasten Jane's recovery. Everyone in Netherfield knew she was feeling better, and the apothecary's endorsement of Elizabeth's nursing skills would probably ensure that no one would wonder at Jane being healed slightly earlier than first expected. It was at least less suspicious than constant exposure of Lizzy's oddities.

Another worry for the Bennet sisters was the last piece of news that their father mentioned briefly before he left. His distant cousin to whom Longbourn was entailed had written him. Unfortunately, Mr Bennet had yet to open said letter and therefore could not tell them anything more about it. Both sisters strongly insisted that he opened and read it as soon as he returned to the house, which he had promised. Apparently, he had planned to wait for Elizabeth's return since she was much more able than himself to answer anything about the estate, but he finally agreed that a letter from that man could not be ignored for too long.

Elizabeth remained with her sister for the rest of the day, and was thankful that her insistence that Jane needed rest spared her visits from the ladies of the house. She had many letters to attend to.

Once she was finished reading all the letters, Elizabeth prepared drafts of the reply letters. She would need to check those again at Longbourn – she did not have any documents here, and feared she might forget something important – and then hand them to her father to copy. The only business letters written with her own hand that she could send were those addressed to her uncle in London. Even Mr Philips, her uncle in Meryton, was unaware of the real situation at Longbourn – his wife delighted too much in gossip.

The sisters helped each other with their hair before coming downstairs. Though they employed a lady's maid at Longbourn, they often used this moment to share private thoughts. Tonight, it was Lizzy who started the conversation.

''I know I probably do not need to ask you this, but I will anyway.'' Elizabeth said lightly while looking at her sister's face in the mirror. ''Do you like Mr Bingley?''

''Lizzy!'' Jane exclaimed, blushing.

''I suppose I could consider that your blush at my enquiry is enough answer, but I believe you would benefit much from saying it out loud.'' Elizabeth continued with a mischievous smile.

Jane stilled. ''What do you mean, Lizzy?''

The dark haired sister sighed, her smile morphing in a serious frown. ''You are shy, Jane. You do not let people in easily. And you are used to not voicing your feelings, because you do not need to do so with me. I would never forgive myself if your shyness robbed you of your chance at happiness.''

Jane slowly sat down. ''First, my happiness is not your responsibility, though I do appreciate your help and support.'' She waited a little before continuing. ''I understand your worries. I realize that an excessive shyness might prevent Mr Bingley and I from developing a closer relationship. However…''

Elizabeth watched as Jane tried to blink back the tears that threatened. Immediately, she rose from her chair and sat down next to her sister to hug her, grabbing her hand and pushing comfort into her.

Once she had calmed a little, Jane continued in a whisper. ''How do I let him know my feelings without betraying my nature? I can try to overcome my shyness, but I am not foolish enough to believe that I can fully rid myself of it. And I refuse to built a relationship on faked or forced smiles.''

Elizabeth kissed her sister's hair and let go of her hand. ''I would never ask you to. Your quiet nature is a part of you, just like your beautiful face.'' She added with a smile. ''But perhaps you could simply try not to suppress the pleasure Mr Bingley's attentions give you? If his words make you want to smile, don't exaggerate it, but do not fight it either.''

''And if that is not enough?''

''Mr Bingley has not known you for long, but I believe he has already realized that you have a quiet character. I am sure he will notice your efforts. You do not have to take the first step, just to match his and trust him.''

Jane nodded and took a deep breath. ''Thank you, Lizzy. I think I did need this conversation, no matter how uncomfortable it was.''

The mischievous smile was back. ''You are welcome, dear sister.''

Jane stood and started to walk towards the door when she stopped and locked her eyes with Elizabeth.

''You do realize that this whole discussion also applies to you, do you?'' Seeing that Lizzy was about to protest, she continued quickly. ''You promised, Elizabeth. And though you do not share my shyness, the shell around your heart is much harder than mine.''

''I remember my promise, Jane. But I am not sure why you want to remind me of it now.'' She replied slowly.

''Do not pretend with me, Lizzy. You know me well, and the reverse is true.'' Jane paused. ''I am not sure what exactly your feelings for Mr Darcy are – perhaps it is indeed only friendship and admiration – but I do believe it could evolve into something more if you gave it a chance.''

Elizabeth blushed slightly. She was not used to Jane being so blunt. ''Our situations are different, Jane. Even if I loved Mr Darcy – which I do not – I have not known him long enough to trust him. Until I do, this conversation is pointless.''

''It is not.'' Jane stated strongly. ''You cannot spend your whole life like this, refusing to trust anyone. You haven't let anyone in for years. And you are slowly pushing away the few people you do trust.'' Her voice broke as she finished. She knew that Elizabeth planned to leave once she was twenty-one, and she feared that her sister would stop any communication when that time came. It was the one question she had never dared to ask Lizzy.

Elizabeth hugged her, careful not to touch her skin – she was not sure how she felt after this discussion, and did not want to deal with Jane's feelings on top of hers. Finally, they released each other, checked their faces and eyes in the mirror and headed downstairs.

The evening was as well as could be expected. Mr Bingley immediately claimed the seat next to Jane, making sure she was sitted near the fire and comfortable, and then engaged her in quiet conversation. Elizabeth was happy to see her sister smile more widely than her usual wont, and she was quite sure that Mr Bingley had noticed it too – she had seen him lean in closer and move his chair slightly towards Jane.

She conversed easily with Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst – she did not like either woman, but was not ready to calmly speak with Mr Darcy after Jane's remarks. Plus, she enjoyed the superficiality of the talk about the neighbourhood and the places they had visited. After spending most of her day doing estate business, she was glad for the distraction. Mr Darcy spent most of the evening writing to his sister and then listening to their conversation.

When Jane announced that she felt tired and would retire, Mr Bingley jumped to his feet to escort her. Elizabeth followed them with a smile. She noticed that Mr Darcy was rising as well. He bowed and announced that he would also retire.

''I will go to the stables.'' He added.

''To the stables? Whatever for, Sir?'' Miss Bingley exclaimed.

''My horse was unwell this morning. I would like to go see his improvement myself.''

Elizabeth spoke up, surprised. The stallion had been perfectly fine when she touched him – she never took energy from a sick animal or plant.

''Unwell? Did something happen during your ride?''

Mr Darcy looked at her. ''No, he was simply… fatigued, I guess. I feared it might be the first symptoms of something more threatening, but the stablehands affirmed that he improved and showed no other signs of illness.''

''Oh'' Elizabeth fought the guilty feelings his explanation evoked in her so that they would not appear on her face. ''Well, then I hope Sonata recovers quickly.'' She curtsied and hurried behind her sister.

The following morning, Elizabeth finished healing Jane and then both sisters packed. A note had been sent to Longbourn, and their carriage arrived soon after. The gentlemen handed them in, and Mr Bingley promised to call at Longbourn the next day.

Once the carriage was out of sight, Mr Bingley turned towards his friend.

''I intend to court Miss Bennet.'' He stated.

Mr Darcy stayed silent for a minute, waiting for his friend to continue. When he did not, he finally asked. ''Do you expect me to say something, Bingley?''

''Well, I have long benefited from your advices.''

''I am not sure I am as qualified in the matters of the heart than I am in estate matters, Charles.'' He replied plainly. ''Nor is it my place as your friend to give or refuse my blessing.''

''Then I will content myself with your opinion, Darcy.''

''She is a gentleman's daughter, her family is quite wealthy. Her dowry may not be as great as your sister, but she is far from penniless. All in all, from a purely practical point of view, I would say she is a good match for you. She would ease your transition into the landed gentry, and she will probably be good Mistress for your house.''

''Caroline objects to her mother's family.'' Bingley pressed.

Darcy nodded. ''Your sister's opinions have always been quite clear.'' He commented, and Bingley blushed slightly at the veiled reproach. ''Frankly, Bingley, I do not see that as an hindrance. Your family has greater connections to trade than hers. In fact, many might say that Miss Bennet is not marrying as well as she could.''

It was Bingley's turn to nod. ''Yes, I noticed that Mrs Bennet was not overly pleased with my attentions to Jane.''

''Indeed. Fortunately for you though, the opinions that will matter in the end are Miss Bennet's and her father's.''

''Yes.'' He hesitated. ''I intend to ask Miss Bennet for a courtship tomorrow. Will you help me create the opportunity for such a discussion?''

''Of course, Bingley.''

''Thank you, Darcy.'' His friend said with visible relief. Just before they re-entered the house, Bingley stopped him. ''You voiced all the practical arguments about a match between Miss Bennet and me, but you never gave me your personal opinion about it.''

Darcy paused. ''Does my opinion truly matter at this point? You have obviously reached a decision already.''

''It does not mean that I do not wish for it. I know I have been fooled by a pretty face before.''

''She is pretty, indeed. But I am convinced that she is not mercenary. I will be honest: I do not know if she returns your feelings. She has a quiet demeanour, and I cannot read her expressions. My advice would be to take your time while you court her. Your lease here is for at least a year, after all – there is no hurry. She might be more comfortable welcoming your attentions if your courtship is official.''

''So, your opinion is that it is too soon to have an opinion?'' Bingley grinned.

Darcy suppressed a smile at the comment. ''Not quite. I think your characters complement each other's well, and I see that you are happy with her. However, I believe any feelings between you need some time to grow before you can really consider marriage. And that is the purpose of a courtship.''


	8. The Master of Longbourn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8 - a little late, sorry...

The following day, Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley went to Longbourn as planned. After the usual greetings in the drawing room, Mr Darcy remarked on the nice weather and suggested that they take a turn in the garden, offering his arm to Miss Bennet.

The young lady's confusion at the gesture was quite obvious, as was her disappointment. Her longing glance at Mr Bingley – who was offering his arm to Miss Elizabeth – was much more discrete, but Mr Darcy still noticed it. Perhaps her heart was more engaged than he had thought.

They went to the garden and, as they had hoped, Mrs Bennet found a reason to prevent the younger girls from accompanying them. Her glee at seeing Mr Darcy finally pay attentions to her eldest daughter was poorly concealed. As soon as they were out of sight from the window, Mr Bingley caught up with them and offered his other arm to Miss Bennet. Miss Elizabeth locked her eyes with Mr Darcy and raised her eyebrows in silent enquiry. He nodded, releasing her sister and falling back a few steps behind the couple. Miss Elizabeth did likewise and he offered her his arm. She took it after a brief hesitation.

''This was quite smoothly done, Sir.'' She commented with a teasing smile.

He fought down a smile. ''I have no idea what you are talking about, Madam.''

She grinned, and then her face turned serious. ''There are not many reasons why you and your friend would devise such a plan. I know it is not my right to ask this, but can you assure me that Mr Bingley's intentions are honourable?''

''I have a sister myself, Miss Elizabeth. I can well understand your worries. I will of course tell you that my friend is an honourable man – but your father will probably be more objective than I in this matter.''

She had a strange smile. ''Of course.''

They noticed that the couple in front of them had stopped, and Mr Bingley had taken Jane's hand. The young lady was blushing and nodding as she whispered. It was quite obvious that she had just accepted Mr Bingley's offer of courtship.

With a wide smile, the fair gentleman suggested they returned to the house, so that he could secure Mr Bennet's consent. Both couples walked back, and Mr Bingley separated from them as soon as they crossed the threshold and headed to Mr Bennet's study. Mr Darcy followed the sisters into the drawing room where, after claiming that his friend had business to discuss with Mr Bennet – which, he told himself, was not exactly a lie – he stood awkwardly in front of a window.

Without his friend, he could not feel comfortable in such company. The mother kept praising her eldest and youngest daughters alternatively, and the only other person with whom he could enjoy a sensible conversation was currently discussing quietly with her sister. Given the recently accepted offer of courtship, he could easily guess the subject of their conversation, and had no wish to interrupt them.

He was relieved when he heard footsteps approaching the drawing room, announcing his friend return. He had no illusion that Bingley would even glance his way, but he anticipated the opportunity to claim Miss Elizabeth as a conversation partner – unless she hid herself behind her embroidery as she seemed wont to do during visits at Longbourn.

His reflections were interrupted by the entrance of not only Mr Bingley, but also of Mr Bennet. As expected, his friend immediately secured the attention of Miss Bennet, and Miss Elizabeth did fish out her embroidery from a basket. Mr Bennet apparently intended to interrogate and tease Mr Bingley and his daughter, for he followed him and started talking to both of them. Mr Darcy could not hear his words from where he stood, but he could see his friend's dismayed face at having his time with his angel so disturbed.

Mr Darcy suppressed a chuckle and decided to engage the gentleman in conversation to save his friend. And he had been eager to discuss several estate matters with Mr Bennet. He approached him and invited him to sit on the nearest sofa so they could discuss the improvements that could be made to Netherfield.

''Mr Darcy, is it?'' Mr Bennet asked. The dark-haired gentleman nodded. ''And you expect your friend to discuss estate business when he just started courting my eldest?'' Mr Bennet continued, slightly amused.

''Actually, I do not. As you probably heard, I came to Hertfordshire both as a guest and as an advisor for my friend. However, the soils in this county are different from those of my own estate in Derbyshire. I hoped you would share your experience with me, so that I could better help my friend later. I am afraid he would be too distracted at the present moment.'' He finished with a slight smile.

''Indeed, Sir! Well, I am not sure how much help I can offer you, but my wife would never let me return to my library so soon when we have guests. I will let your friend be, and answer your questions.'' Mr Bennet agreed, though his enthusiasm seemed forced. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Miss Elizabeth raise her head with a worried look. He did not have time to wonder at this strange reaction, however, for Mr Bennet settled in the comfortable sofa and looked at him expectantly.

Mr Darcy sat down and started. ''Thank you, Sir. I believe the first thing I should do is thank you on behalf of my friend for taking it upon yourself to maintain the fence between Longbourn and Netherfield.''

Mr Bennet made a dismissive gesture with his hand. ''It was no bother for me, I assure you.''

''Well, it was very generous of you.'' He paused. ''The one problem that requires most attention is a part of the estate that is easily flooded. You have land in the same area, and I wanted to discuss the kind of drainage you put in place. I heard that the soil was rich in chalk, and that it could be used as an advantage in such situation. Is it the method that was used there?'' He asked eagerly.

Soils in Derbyshire were not calcareous, and Mr Darcy had only read about the existence of such a technique when his friend mentioned leasing an estate in Hertfordshire. He had read some theory, but experience accumulated since he became the Master of Pemberley taught him that actual application of a method was often much more complex. Mr Bennet likely had invaluable experience in using this draining and irrigation system.

''I believe it was. I could probably find the plans we used back then and hand a copy to your friend, if you wish.'' Mr Bennet offered half-heartedly.

Mr Darcy felt himself grow irritated by the obvious lack of interest of the older gentleman. He knew he had been the one pressing for this conversation, but everything he had heard and seen so far had led him to expect the master of Longbourn to be a man passionate about his estate improvements and tenants welfare. Yet, the man's attitude was dismissive and the conversation clearly bored him. Though his words were respectful, his wording, tone and posture showed his desire to end the conversation as soon as possible.

In fact, he was starting to realize a few things he had failed to notice before. As head of the family, it was Mr Bennet's role to manage his family at social gatherings. Instead, he had already established that this task had fallen to Miss Elizabeth – and probably to a lesser extent to Miss Bennet. Similarly, he had failed to observe the man paying marked attentions to his eldest daughter. Was it not the role of her father to ensure the man was honourable, preferably before an attachment was formed? God knows he felt guilty of not watching out for Georgiana better! He might have spared her heartbreak had he acted sooner…

Still, he tried to pursue the discussion. Though whether it was in hope of seeing Mr Bennet suddenly reveal himself to be the kind of man he had envisioned or to confirm his growing suspicions, he honestly did not know.

''From my research, it might even be possible to enhance the value of these lands by growing watercress on them. What do you grow in the southern parts of Longbourn?'' He enquired.

''Most of the usual. We rotate the crops regularly.'' Mr Bennet unconsciously glanced towards his second daughter, and Mr Darcy's eyes narrowed. He shot a look at the young lady over his shoulder. She quickly returned her eyes to her work, but not fast enough for him to miss the worried expression on her face.

He had seen enough of Longbourn during his morning rides to have inventoried most of the improvements that seemed to have been made over the last few years, and most had been confirmed by comments from Netherfield's tenants. Some of these were quite similar to improvements he had made on his own estate. It was therefore quite easy for him to ask pointed questions that confirmed his growing suspicions. Mr Bennet knew well the basis of the crops of Hertfordshire, as well as the general purpose of the improvements implemented over the last few years.

He did not, however, have the precise knowledge that would be required to select and supervise the works himself. And since Longbourn had no steward, the only person that seemed to have the necessary knowledge was Miss Elizabeth.

The idea that a woman, who had not even reached her majority yet, was single-handedly managing an estate was preposterous. He actually doubted that she managed everything alone – she was too young, regardless of her intelligence, to have done so for years. Perhaps an uncle or a cousin advised her? It would certainly account for the impressive amount of letters she had received during her relatively short stay at Netherfield.

He was so immersed in his reflections that he barely noticed when his friend finally admitted that they should return, and unconsciously followed him outside after thanking their guests. He could not remember how he or Mr Bennet had ended their discussion, nor did he really care if he had slighted the gentleman – the man he had met today had greatly disappointed him.

He barely listened to Mr Bingley on their way back, only nodding at irregular intervals to give him the impression that he was paying attention, and retired to his rooms as soon as they reached the house.

He forced himself to review all he had learned about Longbourn and Mr Bennet, as well as his conversations with Miss Elizabeth.

The official Master of Longbourn now appeared to him as a lazy manager and dismissive father. He had obviously discharged most of his duties on his second daughter, and had not bothered to get to know the man courting his eldest until the relationship became official. It was also equally clear that this strange situation was not public knowledge. He would have heard gossip about it the very first day of his stay! Society would have relished criticizing the behaviour of both Mr Bennet and Miss Elizabeth.

He also remembered how Miss Elizabeth had repeatedly tried to discourage him discussing with her father, and her worried face when he eventually approached Mr Bennet. Given how much they had discussed estate matters during their previous encounters, the young woman had probably known that he would easily guess the real state of things as soon as he talked with her father.

He still wondered how such a situation could have occurred, and persisted, without anyone noticing. It was unfortunately impossible to know without directly asking those involved. However, Miss Elizabeth might be willing to explain the situation if he assured her of his discretion.

He rose early for his morning ride, and immediately urged Sonata towards the boundary with Longbourn Estate. He stopped when he reached the fence, and waited still atop his horse.

Soon, he noticed a feminine figure approaching, holding a basket. A glance at his watch confirmed that Miss Elizabeth was earlier than usual as well.

'Great minds think alike.' He thought as she got closer.

Once she was nearly at the fence, he dismounted. He had never done so before, strictly adhering to the rules of propriety. However, he anticipated a much longer conversation today, and its very subject was most unusual. It was still early, and he was confident that no one would see them alone together.

The thought of being alone with Miss Elizabeth was strangely appealing, but he forced himself to stay focused. Once she reached him, they exchanged their usual greetings, both oddly comforted by the security of the routine.

An uncomfortable silence followed, both unsure of how to continue the conversation. Elizabeth's hope that her father had managed to fool Mr Darcy had vanished as soon as she saw the gentleman dismounting. She was still unsure whether she should simply tell him the truth – though nothing about her abilities – or if his suspicions were mild enough for her to try and cover the truth.

Her reflections were interrupted by Mr Darcy who cleared his throat and offered her his arm.

''Would you mind telling me about the draining method you used on the southern part of Longbourn?''

She hesitated slightly, and the gentleman continued.

''I'd rather give credit where it is due, Miss Elizabeth. And I still need more experience to better advise my friend.'' He paused and stared into her eyes. ''I would dearly wish to know how such a situation came about, but I cannot force confidences, nor do I wish to. Either way, you can be assured of my secrecy. I know the burden than comes from shouldering the duties of managing an estate, especially at a relatively young age.''

Reassured, Elizabeth took his arm. She started to explain the basics of using the chalky soils as part of the draining system as they walked south so that she could show him the results.

After a while, she stopped walking.

''Sir, I know you do not wish to force my confidences, but I do believe that you deserve some explanations. As you have guessed, I am the one managing most of the estate – as well as the investments with advise from my uncle. My father loves his books and philosophy, but has never developed any interest in estate matters. At first, he simply imitated what his own father used to do. I often accompanied him when he toured the estate. This is how my own interest in estate managing was born.''

She looked up at him. ''I have always been an avid reader. I slowly started to recommend new techniques to my father and over the years he simply gave me the power of decision. Now, he mostly shows up and copies the drafts I give him for appearances sake. Society would not be kind with our family if this situation was widely known.''

''How long have you been managing the estate alone?'' He asked.

She looked away. ''About the same time I have been out in society. Nearly five years.''


	9. Growing expectations

Later that afternoon, Elizabeth took her basket, declined Jane's offer of accompanying her, and walked to her usual clearing.

She felt slightly guilty about refusing Jane's company – she knew her elder sister was getting quite tired of the remarks of their mother about how she could catch a much wealthier gentleman than Mr Bingley. Jane was probably as eager as her to escape the house for a while. However, the morning had been quite eventful, and Elizabeth needed some time truly alone to reflect on it all.

As soon as she reached the clearing, she settled with her harp and immersed herself in her music. Her thoughts drifted back to her discussion with Mr Darcy this morning.

Both had been quite surprised when they realized that they had been managing their respective estate for five years. The main difference, however, was that Mr Darcy's father was dead – and that he was a good few years older than her. Though the gentleman had been polite enough not to comment the Bennet's situation out loud, the contempt in his eyes had been clear.

She knew this emotion was not directed at her, but rather at her father. But what disturbed her the most about this was that she understood the feeling so easily. As much as she loved managing the estate, she was also aware that such a task should never have fallen onto her shoulders, and certainly not at the tender age of fifteen. And it was not the only duty her father had failed in – he barely looked out for her sisters. Just this morning, she had found Lydia and Kitty alone with two young officers from the recently arrived militia. Her father had done nothing to supervise the encounter, despite being perfectly aware of the foolishness and ignorance of his youngest daughters.

Yet, he was her father. Shouldn't she feel admiration for him? He had taught her a lot, and another father would have likely censored most of her interests as a girl. Was it not her duty as a daughter to defend him in the eyes of the gentleman from Derbyshire?

But she had remained silent. Just like he had not commented on the laziness and selfishness of her father, she had not remarked on the contempt she had seen in his eyes.

Instead, she had simply returned the conversation to the previous subject – draining and irrigation. She had felt a great pleasure at being listened to by Mr Darcy. She had never before been able to simply enjoy a long discussion about such estate matters. Instructions to people outside Longbourn was always done through letters to prevent anyone from uncovering the real situation – like Mr Darcy had done – and her father and Jane had no real interest in farming. Such conversations quickly bored them.

The gentleman had been kind enough to allow the change of subject and had appeared satisfied by her explanations. She had been voluntarily vague about her role during her childhood. It was far too linked to her abilities for her to share it with the dark gentleman.

And yet… She could not help but remember her recent conversation with Jane at Netherfield. She had just trusted Mr Darcy with a potentially harmful secret – not that she had had much choice in the matter, she thought ruefully – and he had promised his secrecy. Could she hope to trust him with her biggest secret some day?

She was not blind. She could easily say that he was the handsomest man she had ever met. She had not known him long, but she already respected and admired him a great deal. She realized that she could quite easily fall in love with him if she allowed herself to.

And that frightened her.

She had never been in love before, nor had she ever wished to. What was the point if she could not marry? However, her main issue with marriage was trust in her husband – and Mr Darcy seemed quite trustworthy.

She shook her head and resumed the music she had unconsciously stopped at some time during her reflections. It was pointless to wonder at this point. She did not trust him enough to confide fully – yet – and she was not willing to marry a man who did not love her as well. She should not lose herself in foolish dreams.

Nor could she bring herself to give up this small hope that had appeared in her heart some time this morning, or the anticipation at the thought of their planned encounter on the morrow – with a maid as chaperone, of course.

The following day, Mr Darcy was again waiting by the fence. He had spent most of the night reflecting on everything he knew about Miss Elizabeth in light of her recent revelations. One detail still bothered him greatly, though he had no idea how to broach such a personal subject.

He had noticed how the young woman retreated in the shadows in Longbourn's drawing room, how her mother dismissed and ignored her. More disturbing were a few odd habits he had noticed in the young woman, which he was convinced were unconscious: her gaze always followed the hands of people near her, she was often hesitant when a gentleman offered her his arm or more generally if someone attempted to touch her in any way. Indeed, he had only seen her physically comfortable with Miss Bennet.

All in all, her behaviour was reminding him of a tenant's son he had started employing as a servant three years ago. After a couple of weeks, Mrs Reynolds had approached him with suspicions of physical abuse on the boy. They had investigated the staff – he would not tolerate a bully amongst his servants – and then the family of the boy. It had not taken long to realize that the boy's father – who had always acted polite in front of the Master of Pemberley – drank heavily in the evenings and was then violent with his children.

Mrs Bennet treated her second daughter most unkindly. Had she once abused her physically as well? It would certainly account for Miss Elizabeth's behaviour in some circumstances. He doubted any physical abuse was still happening, given the fact that Miss Elizabeth was now the one who decided the amount of pin money her mother was afforded. She obviously had some sort of defence now.

He also wondered if her decision not to marry was a consequence of the abuse. Had her mother somehow convinced her of it? Did she have scars and feared the questions that might be asked if her husband saw them? Did she fear similar abuse from her husband should she marry? It was certainly the most logical explanation.

He wondered where she intended to live after her father passed on. He remembered Miss Bingley exclaiming that Longbourn was entailed – one of her many objections once her brother announced his courtship with Miss Bennet. Perhaps the heir was aware of the current situation and would let her stay at Longbourn and manage the estate in its stead? She was, basically, a free and very capable steward, he thought sardonically.

He was slowly realising, however, where he would want her to live in the future. His dreams when he finally fell asleep last night were filled with scenes of the young woman in Pemberley's library, in the rose garden of his late mother, in his personal chambers. He had known he admired Miss Elizabeth, but had been quite disturbed, upon waking, to realize how far his admiration ran. He was still unsure how his heart could have decided without his noticing and mind's consent.

Even more uncertain was what he could do about these recently discovered feelings. Miss Elizabeth was notorious for refusing any attempt at courtship, yet such offers had always come from childhood friends – a rather limited choice for a woman so well-read and educated. She would probably have been bored with those young men from Hertfordshire. And, unlike those other gentlemen, he had clearly earned her trust for she had confessed a most shameful family situation quite easily the previous day.

There was no doubt in Mr Darcy’s mind that Miss Elizabeth would be receptive to a courtship with him, though he would probably have to proceed slowly in order not to frighten her. Therefore, the main issue was to decide whether or not he should act on his feelings and attempt to pursue the young woman.

A letter to his aunt would probably be quite helpful at this stage.

His musings were interrupted when he finally noticed her figure on the lane, closely followed by another feminine figure – their chaperone for the morning. Yesterday had been most unconventional, but the rules of propriety could not be so ignored on a daily basis. Miss Elizabeth still had much to show him around the estate, and they could not be seen alone together by her tenants. She had therefore offered to bring a maid with her – obviously, the servants were perfectly aware of the odd situation. That they had not breathed a word of it in Meryton spoke of their loyalty to the Bennet family – or at least for some of its members.

They exchanged their greetings, and Miss Elizabeth introduced the young maid as Susan. Mr Darcy then offered his arm to her which she took with much less hesitation than the previous day. They easily conversed about crops rotation while the young woman guided them to another part of the estate.

Twice, Miss Elizabeth released his arm to bend and pick up a few plants. When he enquired why she chose those particular plants – especially as they had no bloom – she revealed that she was an avid botanist.

''My interest is not limited to crops, Sir.'' she explained with a smile. ''How do you think I treated Jane at Netherfield?''

Discovering her role in Longbourn had nearly made him forget about that. Yet, he now remembered that the apothecary had mentioned testing her a few years ago.

''Indeed. And what are these used for? I confess I never learned much about medicine. I simply try not to get sick, and protest then drink whatever my physician asks me to when I am.''

''At least you are a conciliatory patient!'' She laughed. She then glanced at the herbs she had gathered in her small basket. ''Well, this one here is called Lesser celandine. It can be used for pain, but must be dried first. The other one is Colts-foot, and has many uses.''

''Colts-foot…'' He repeated slowly. He had heard of that plant before. ''I thought that was simply a wild plant you could eat?'' He said with some surprise.

She nodded. ''It can be used as food. And a very healthy one.'' She added mischievously.

''Is someone sick at Longbourn?'' He asked.

She shook her head. ''We are expecting a guest soon, and I will not have as much time to gather plants while he stays. Soon, most of the plants will wither and be useless. I need to dry as much as possible before winter truly arrives.''

''You have a lot of responsibilities.'' He observed. She smiled ruefully in acknowledgement. ''This guest… is it family coming for the end of the year festivities?''

''No. I mean, yes, he is family. Technically speaking though, for we have never met him before. He is a distant cousin, Mr Collins, and the one who will one day inherit the estate. He will not stay for more than a fortnight.'' She frowned.

''It seems this perspective is not especially pleasing to you, Miss Elizabeth. How come you have never met the man?'' He covered her hand on his arm with his own, wanting to offer some sort of comfort to the young woman.

''Apparently, my father and his once had an argument and never reconciled. His father died a couple of years ago, and he just took orders and obtained a living as a clergyman. He sent a letter to my father, begging to visit and 'offer an olive branch' to our family. He is to arrive tomorrow.''

She frowned again. ''Unfortunately, the tone of his letter leaves me with little hope of meeting a sensible man.''

Given all the hard work she had put in the estate, it was most probably frustrating to know that it would eventually fall into the hands of such a man.

He pressed her hand and offered her a smile. An entail could be broken, but to do so was always complicated and time-consuming. Furthermore, it was not something she could negotiate in her father's state through letters.

''I also fear that his 'olive branch' will manifest itself in the form of a proposal to one of my younger sisters. I do not think they are mature enough to make such a decision at this point.'' She continued with a sigh.

''And if this Mr Collins proposed marriage to yourself?'' Mr Darcy asked with some apprehension.

She dismissed his concern with a wave of her hand. ''I doubt my mother will let him pay attention to me. She would be afraid my refusal would incite his ire, and she is dependent on his kindness once my father leaves this world.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you next week!


	10. Predictable Parson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy and see you next week!

Elizabeth was irritated. Mr Collins had arrived in the early afternoon, and she was slowly realizing how troublesome his visit would prove.

First, her father had quickly retreated to his study after welcoming their guest, leaving the introductions to Mrs Bennet. Then, her mother had introduced all the sisters by their order of birth, as was dictated by society's rules. She had stressed that Jane was being courted – apparently, she still considered that Mr Bingley was a better catch than the parson for her beautiful eldest – and begrudgingly introduced Elizabeth as the second eldest.

Mr Collins only half-listened to the rest of the introductions. In his mind, Elizabeth's status as the eldest unattached daughter designated her as his future bride.

Elizabeth had therefore spent the rest of the day subtly indicating that she did not welcome his attentions. After the third warning, she resigned herself to the fact that the man was simply too simple – or self-absorbed – to understand.

A brief respite had happened when the gentlemen from Netherfield visited – Mr Bingley confessed he could not remain away when his angel was so close – and Mr Collins was introduced to Mr Darcy.

She should probably have helped him escape the stupid and insufferable man, who seemed to consider it his duty to inform the dark gentleman of the well-being of his aunt – Lady Catherine De Bourgh, the unfortunate patroness of the parson – and cousin Anne. She knew that his rude behaviour was mostly the consequence of his shyness, and that such situation must be extremely uncomfortable to him. But in this moment, she delighted in the peace of being free of her own cousin's attentions for a while, and enjoyed the ridiculousness of the situation.

''I am very delighted to assure you, Mr Darcy, that your noble aunt enjoys the best of health, and her magnificent daughter was feeling much improved when I last visited Rosings. Perhaps your betrothal will take place after all?'' Mr Collins asked eagerly. ''To unite two estates like Rosings and Pemberley would be…''

Mr Darcy, who had been trying to ignore the man and escape his presence, froze at this and looked down at the parson.

''There will be no betrothal between my cousin Anne and myself. The idea was once mentioned by my Uncle, the Earl of Matlock, and my aunt Lady Catherine. However, Anne's health is too fragile and, even if it were not so, neither of us want this union. We have always considered ourselves to be siblings, and wish to remain so.'' He stated in a strong voice.

Mr Collins seemed to shrink under his glare.

''Furthermore, I do not appreciate your gossiping about my family matters. I hope that you will not spread false rumours or I will be forced to inform my aunt of your behaviour.''

Ignoring the spluttered excuses of the parson, Mr Darcy walked to the window and turned his back to the room, clearly incensed. Mr Collins took a step in his direction, probably to finish his apology, then seemed to think better of it and walked in her direction with as much dignity as he could muster.

''My dear cousin! You had not told me that your family was acquainted with Mr Darcy of Pemberley. His aunt, the noble Lady Catherine De Bourgh, is my most gracious patroness, and the Mistress of Rosings!'' He exclaimed.

Elizabeth fought back a smile. Though he pretended to be unaffected by Mr Darcy's dressing down, the parson's voice was trembling slightly.

''Indeed, I had gathered as much from your discussion with the gentleman.'' She replied politely.

She was most satisfied to see her undesired suitor blanch at the not so subtle reminder. Hopefully, these unkind remarks would convince him to cease all attentions to her. In less than a half-day, she could no longer bear his insincere compliments and obsequious attitude.

And she strongly disliked the thought that Mr Darcy was witnessing those attentions. Looking up, she met his gaze through his reflection in the window and immediately looked away. She did not understand the shame that had filled her when she saw his dark eyes.

Thankfully, Mr Bingley ended the visit soon after, realizing that the confrontation between his friend and the parson had generated a lot of tension in the room. For once, Mrs Bennet refrained from extending an invitation for dinner to the gentleman of Derbyshire and his friend – even she could realize that any attempt at setting him up with her dearest Lydia would be futile today.

Mr Collins retired to his rooms, and Elizabeth immediately marched to her mother.

''As you well know, Madam, I have absolutely no intention of marrying. Even if said marriage offered me Longbourn. Nor do I care if the heir ends up marrying a woman who does not bear the name of Bennet. I highly suggest you encourage his attentions to be directed at another woman than myself, or I will likely lose my temper and burn this olive branch Mr Collins wants to offer our family.''

Her mother irritatedly clicked her tongue and replied. ''It should be your duty to ensure our family's security, child! But I must agree that no man should have the burden of having you as a wife. And Mr Collins might blame us later on if we let him marry someone like you!''

She glanced to her right, where Mary was quietly reading Fordyce's Sermons.

''Your sister is much better suited to the role of a parson's wife, anyway.'' She concluded before sneering at her and leaving the room.

Trembling, Elizabeth took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself and stem the tears that threatened to spill out. Somehow, her mother's words still managed to cut her quite deeply. She felt Jane touch her shoulder.

''Go, Lizzy. I will go take your basket and join you there.'' She whispered softly.

Elizabeth nodded, still not trusting herself to speak, and hurriedly grabbed her pelisse before exiting the house and walking towards the clearing.

It was nearly dinner-time when the sisters returned to the house. They quickly changed and joined the rest of the family for the meal. Elizabeth was pleased to see Mr Collins seated next to Mary and quietly conversing with her. She had feared that redirecting his attentions would be hard – given how impervious he had been to her warnings – but it appeared that Mrs Bennet had succeeded.

As was his usual wont, Mr Bennet left as soon as he finished his meal. When he passed her, he leaned in slightly and informed in a soft voice that letters requiring her attention had arrived.

Unfortunately, Elizabeth could not retire in the study because of their guest. Usually, she did not need to hide when working on estate matters inside the house. In fact, this detail had never crossed her mind until now, so used was she to everyone in Longbourn knowing about her unofficial status as Master of the estate.

Tonight however, she was forced by society's rules and the need of secrecy to remain in the drawing room with the rest of the family. And it was clear that Mr Collins was in no hurry to retire.

She used this time to find a solution to this particular problem, as she expected the evenings of the next fortnight to follow the same general scheme. In the end, she resigned herself to the fact that there was no way for her to escape every day. She might be able to excuse herself a couple of times over Mr Collins' stay at Longbourn, but it would be rude to do so on a daily basis.

She sighed. The only option would be to move all the ledgers to her own room, and keep it locked at all times to ensure her cousin would not stumble upon it. She would likely have to work on most of the matters after she retired for the night, and sneak the business letters in her room every day.

She looked over to Mary and Mr Collins, seated side by side and still conversing. It seemed Mary welcomed the attentions of their cousin, but Elizabeth was unsure whether she did it genuinely or because she had been forced to behave so by their mother. Though she was her sister, she barely knew Mary – or Kitty or Lydia.

This was a consequence of Mrs Bennet's attitude. The three youngest had never been truly authorized to interact with Elizabeth, and they had never been encouraged to behave as sisters should. In fact, Elizabeth herself felt like they were sisters in name and blood only.

However, Mary was probably the one sister with whom she caressed the idea of forming a better relationship one day, in a more neutral territory than Longbourn. And she had never wished for her younger sisters unhappiness. As silly – and sometimes even cruel – as they behaved, she felt that she could not condemn them for actions that were the direct consequence of Mrs Bennet's education of them. She would have to find the time and courage to speak to Mary and ensure that she was truly willing to become Mr Collins' wife.

When the irritating man finally retired, Elizabeth asked Jane and her maid Susan to help her bring up all the main ledgers, using the servants stairs. Jane read quietly to keep her company as she worked, and then they both went to sleep.

The following day, as Elizabeth prepared to go on her walk and visit a couple tenants' family, she was surprised to see Mary come down with her pelisse and approach her nervously.

''I… I wondered if I might accompany you to see the tenants.'' She muttered, looking at the ground.

Feeling just as ill-at-ease, Elizabeth replied that she was most welcome. She would simply have to accompany her sister back to the house before going for her invigorating walk afterwards.

Without exchanging another word, the two sisters started down the lane. After walking for nearly a quarter of an hour, Mary slowly asked:

''Um, where exactly are we going?''

Elizabeth laughed nervously. ''Sorry, I did not realized I had not told you. I have to visit two families living in the eastern part of the estate: the Simons and the Bates. Winter will arrive soon, so I want to ensure all our tenants have enough to eat and stay warm. The purpose of these visits is to make a list of everything they may need.''

Mary nodded and silence settled between them again.

They had nearly arrived at the first cottage when Elizabeth stopped and voiced her surprise at Mary's sudden interest.

''Mary… I am happy you want to help with visiting the tenants, but I must be honest and say that this sudden change of behaviour surprises me. May I ask you why you wanted to accompany me today?''

Mary briefly locked eyes with her before staring at the ground again. ''Mr Collins will probably propose to me, and I intend to accept. This means that I will be the next Mistress of Longbourn. Visiting the tenants will be one of my duties, and I have no idea what I will be supposed to do during such visits.''

''Is it your desire to marry our cousin? Or do you intend to accept because you feel it is your duty?'' Elizabeth wished she had found a way to voice her thoughts that did not sound so harsh, but the words were already out of her mouth.

Her sister did not seem offended by it, and simply replied. ''I am not looking for deep love like Jane, or a handsome face like Kitty and Lydia. I know Mr Collins is not an ideal man, but there are worse men in this world and I do believe he will treat me well. As for your questions, I believe you could say that it is duty that is the main motivation of my decision. However, I would not accept a man with whom I could only expect unhappiness.''

''You do realize that your dowry is enough to ensure you have material security, even if you choose to never marry?'' Elizabeth prompted.

''I do. But I want to have a family of my own some day. And to be a good Mistress for the tenants.''

Elizabeth nodded. ''Be assured, Mary, you may accompany me whenever you wish. I am sure Jane will appreciate your presence and initiative as well. Now, we should go and see the Simons. They shall be expecting us.''


	11. Of families

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy !  
> And as always, constructive criticism is appreciated.

Mr Darcy spent the ride back to Netherfield lost in his thoughts. His friend Bingley, believing that he was still fuming from the parson's words, left him alone which suited him at the moment.

Though he had been furious to hear Mr Collins openly comment on what were private family matters, he was far too used to London's constant gossip to be overly bothered by it. He had been much more irritated, however, to witness the parson's unwelcome attentions to Miss Elizabeth.

He had of course read many descriptions of jealousy in literature, but experiencing it was quite different. He had only managed to control his temper because of years of ingrained education on proper behaviour and because of Miss Elizabeth's earlier assurances that she would not marry the heir of Longbourn.

The scene had unfortunately triggered the memory of a conversation when there had been a mention of the eldest Miss Bennets spending part of the next season in town. And though no man in Meryton had ever been able to charm the young woman, Mr Darcy was quite aware of how many men would be interested by a beautiful, witted and quite wealthy gentleman's daughter – even if said gentleman did not have much connections in the upper society.

He sat straighter in his saddle and Sonata quickened his pace in response. He had already established that he had at least some feelings for Miss Elizabeth. She was beautiful, clever and shared many of his own interests. She was not afraid or in awe of him – an attitude commonly found in London's ballrooms and that quite disgusted him – and willing to defend her opinion with a well-constructed demonstration. Obviously, she was not as wealthy as some in his family expected him to marry, nor was she from a titled family, but he was confident that she would be accepted by most of his relatives.

In fact, the only reason he could not allow himself to court her at present was her constant refusal of such offers. He needed to send this letter to his aunt and ask her if there was any scandal attached to the name of Bennet – though why would this only affect Miss Elizabeth and none of her sisters was quite strange. Meanwhile, he would try to subtly introduce her to the idea of a courtship.

Satisfied with this plan, he nodded, earning a surprised glance from his friend. Before Bingley could enquire about his unusual behaviour, he turned towards him.

''I need to write an important letter and send it to London before dinner. I am afraid I will have to remain in my rooms instead of reviewing the accounts with you.'' He apologized.

Bingley smiled and shook his head. ''Do not worry about it, Darcy! My fortune comes from trade, I should be able to manage the accounts without your help. Though I may have to check some finer points of the estate's economy with you later on.''

When they reached Netherfield, Mr Darcy hurried upstairs before the ladies of the house – and one in particular – could come and insist he joins them in the drawing room. Though he usually did not mind writing some of his business or personal letters in their presence – it was in fact a perfect way to remain in the room while not having to participate in meaningless discussions – he did not want to chance having Miss Caroline Bingley reading this particular letter over his shoulder. It was highly personal, and he did not trust the woman would calmly accept his acknowledged interest in Miss Elizabeth.

Once he was safely settled in his personal sitting room, he sharpened his pen and started to write.

Dear Aunt Amelia,

I hope you are well, and that my cousin Henry is feeling better.

Georgiana was much improved when I left Pemberley, and we both appreciate the companion you advised for her. Mrs Annesley is very kind to her and is slowly rebuilding Georgiana's self-confidence, which has been so shaken by recent events.

As you know, I am spending a few weeks in Hertfordshire to help my friend Charles Bingley with the estate he has leased. We made the acquaintance of the Bennet family, composed of Mr Bennet, a country gentleman, his wife and his five daughters. They are easily the wealthiest family in the area, and Bingley has fallen in love with the eldest daughter. They are currently courting.

However, the second daughter – Miss Elizabeth – is treated quite differently by her family, despite her exceptional qualities. Though I believe that it is unlikely, I would much appreciate if you could try and find if there is any sort of scandal attached to her family, or Miss Elizabeth in particular. I know she has an uncle – her mother's brother – living in London, and from what I gather, he must have been quite successful in his trade business. Sadly, I do not know the name.

I need the information as soon as you can manage. I also ask that you do not share any of this with the Earl, Henry or Richard.

Your favourite nephew,

Fitzwilliam Darcy.

Once he was finished, Mr Darcy sealed the letter and called his valet, instructing him to send the letter to Lady Amelia Matlock and make sure that it was delivered directly to her, as soon as physically possible. He then relaxed in his chambers until dinner.

The following day, he spent most of the morning with his friend, visiting more tenants of Netherfield. Bingley was still unused to the exercise, and barely knew what he was supposed to ask them. A landed gentleman was much more responsible of his tenants welfare than a business man was of his employees, and Bingley had even rarely met most of his employees. For all his natural ease in social situation, he was much more comfortable taking decisions from his desk after deliberating over numbers. To associate those numbers with human faces proved a new and somewhat awkward experience for him.

On their ride back to Netherfield, Mr Darcy noticed a familiar figure walking near the border between Netherfield and Longbourn. Claiming to need a solitary ride, he urged Bingley to go back to the house without him. His friend was tired from the visits and accepted easily.

As soon as Bingley was out of view, Mr Darcy directed Sonata towards the lane where he had seen Miss Elizabeth walking. He quickly sped up to a canter until he reached the fence where he stopped and dismounted.

As soon as he felt his feet hit the ground, he wondered what he was doing. He could not act on his feelings – whatever they were – until he had received his aunt's response, and to meet Miss Elizabeth on purpose without a chaperone was highly improper.

He shook his head. He had gotten quite used to their time together over the last few days, and felt quite bereft since her cousin's arrival had stopped the daily encounters. When he saw her from the corner of his eye, he had seized the occasion to spend some time with her without thinking. Now however, the impropriety of the situation was glaring at him, and he was pondering whether or not he should climb back in his saddle when he saw her emerge from the forest.

She noticed him almost immediately, and her smile drove away his thoughts of returning to Netherfield. After all, he reasoned, it would be most impolite to leave now.

Propriety could not be fully ignored, though, so Mr Darcy resolved to remain on his side of the fence. He greeted Miss Elizabeth, and she returned it cheerfully.

''I apologize for the scene I created at your house yesterday.'' he added, thinking back of the general unease at Longbourn after his discussion with the parson.

Miss Elizabeth let out a small laugh. ''You have nothing to apologize for, Sir. I believe Mr Collins brought this upon himself.''

He nodded and remarked. ''You seem especially cheerful this morning, Miss Elizabeth.''

She frowned slightly. ''Am I?'' She paused. ''Well, I suppose I do have some reasons to be cheerful today, indeed. I had not realized that it had affected me so.''

He looked at her expectantly. She glanced at him and gestured ahead of them. The path ran beside the fence, making it possible for them to walk together while still remaining on separate sides of the wooden barrier. He had already noticed that she was more comfortable to talk about personal matters while walking.

Soon, she explained. ''My cousin realized that my younger sister Mary was more receptive to his attentions.'' Mr Darcy's eyebrow rose, guessing that there was more to this sudden change of heart than what she was willing to say, but he did not comment.

''Mary and Mr Collins spend most of yesterday evening speaking together. My cousin made it quite clear when he arrived that he intended to leave Hertfordshire as an engaged man, and it is now likely that my sister will be his chosen bride. Though they are not officially courting, Mary has taken it upon herself to prepare for her future role of Mistress of Longbourn.''

She looked up. ''She asked to accompany me on my visits to the tenants this morning. And she shall continue to accompany either Jane or I from now on.''

She stopped and seemed to stare at something above his left shoulder. ''I am not close with any of my sisters besides Jane. In fact, today was probably the first time I had a real discussion with Mary. I confess I had long resigned myself to those distant relationships with my younger sisters, but now I have some hope of building some closeness with Mary.''

She focused back on him and grinned. ''And of course, I cannot deny that I am relieved that my cousin noticed how unsuitable we were.''

Mr Darcy smiled in amusement at this last remark, but his mind was still reeling from her previous confession. He had noticed that the two eldest Miss Bennets were close, but he had not realized how estranged Miss Elizabeth was from her other siblings. Unfortunately, he could recognize that she had closed the subject for now.

''I believe you have a sister, Mr Darcy? I remember you mentioning her a couple of times.''

He smiled fondly at the thought of Georgiana. ''Indeed, though she is much younger than myself. Therefore, I am something between a brother and a father to Georgiana.''

He hesitated, but continued. She had shared some personal thoughts, it was only fair that he did the same. And if she became his wife, she would learn this sooner or later anyway.

''Both my parents are passed on, as you know, and I have been her guardian for five years now – with help from my cousin and some advice from my aunt.'' He slowly started.

''Your aunt? Do you mean Lady Catherine?'' She asked.

''Ah, no. I meant my other aunt, who is the wife of my mother's brother, the Earl of Matlock.'' He paused, unsure. ''In fact, health is my mother's family has always seemed to be an issue. My mother would easily fall sick when fatigued, and she recovered slowly. I heard that it took her nearly a year to fully recover after my birth. A few months after Georgiana's birth, she caught a bad cold that settled in her lungs. She never recovered, and my father was never the same afterwards.''

He had rested his hand on the fence some time during his confession, and Miss Elizabeth rested her gloved hand on top of his in silent support. Seeing her fully concentrated on his tale, however, he doubted she was even aware of her actions.

''My cousin Anne, Lady Catherine's only daughter, has an even more fragile health, which is why the family determined that it was probably safer for her not to marry. She will inherit the estate, so she does not need material support from a husband. My other cousin Henry, the Viscount, also has a relatively fragile health which is the source of many tensions in the family.''

''What do you mean?'' she asked softly.

''He is the heir – which is probably fortunate as I doubt he would have survived the harsher life of a second son – but he is often sick and still unmarried. His younger brother Richard – and the cousin with whom I share Georgiana's guardianship – decided to join the army against the Earl's wishes. My uncle fears that his eldest son will die from illness and that Richard will die in battle, making him heirless.'' Mr Darcy explained, unable to fully contain the bitterness he felt at his uncle unfeeling reasoning.

''And your sister? Is she well?'' Miss Elizabeth enquired softly.

He nodded. ''Fortunately, it seems neither of us inherited those health troubles. Richard and my aunt Catherine also enjoy perfect health. For that, I will be forever grateful.''


	12. A wicked man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I post a bit early because I will be busy on Sunday. Enjoy!

George Wickham was eagerly awaiting the party at Mrs Philips. He had just joined the militia settled in the town of Meryton, as he had lost the last of his inheritance at cards and he needed food and shelter. Besides, a local militia was highly unlikely to ever see a battle but provided many opportunities to trick fellow officers in money games and seduce foolish young women.

Since his arrival, he had learned two pieces of information which excited him greatly. The first was the presence of his old acquaintance Mr Darcy in the area. He had no doubt that the gentleman would not dare say anything against him openly for fear of the consequences to his father's memory and dear Georgiana's future. Especially as it seemed that he only interacted with the wealthiest family, the Bennets.

And there was the second piece of information that appealed to him. The second eldest Bennet daughter was apparently quite handsome, and impossible to charm – or so the local, inexperienced gentlemen said. Wickham was looking forward to seducing the young woman. He had always loved a good challenge, and the reward would be most agreeable. The girl did have a ten thousand pounds dowry.

He had been introduced to Miss Lydia and Miss Kitty earlier that day by his new friend Denny, and immediately invited by the foolish girls to the dinner party at their aunt's.

Obtaining an introduction to Miss Elizabeth Bennet was ridiculously easy – an eager Sir William was happy to do him the honour. When his first compliments did not have as much effect as he had hoped, he decided that false vulnerability would be the key to the young woman's heart. With a concealed smirk, he started his carefully edited life story. The fact that it would likely spread in the neighbourhood and darken Darcy's reputation was an added bonus.

Elizabeth listened attentively to the young lieutenant. She had guessed his intent to try and prove his skills as a charmer of women the moment the first of his many compliments escaped his lips. When her indifference forced him to change strategy, she was surprised by the story he related. She quickly realized that his story had at least some elements of truth – it was far too detailed for it to be otherwise. In fact, she only realized his general lie so quickly because her previous conversations with Mr Darcy had given her information with which she compared the tale presented to her.

The first thing she noticed was how vague the man was about the time when the events he described happened. The previous Mr Darcy, she knew, had died five years ago. Mr Wickham claimed that he had joined the militia because his son had denied him his inheritance. But if that was truly the case, how had the man supported himself for five years? Why had he not sought an occupation earlier?

The other glaring inconsistency was his description of the tall gentleman's character. He avoided going into any particulars, only citing general faults such as pride and arrogance – which she admitted were faults the Derbyshire gentleman had – and clearly intending for his discussion partner to draw his own conclusion from his tale.

What frightened her, however, was that the story sounded well-rehearsed and probably quite believable for someone who did not know Mr Darcy as well as she did – which was the whole neighbourhood she realized. She suppressed a shudder. Mr Wickham sounded like he had a personal vendetta with Mr Darcy, and though his manners appeared amiable she felt highly uncomfortable in his presence. She caught him looking her up and down with some hunger in his eyes and determined that she never wanted to touch his skin – if his gaze was enough to disgust her, she had no wish to be a direct witness of his feelings and thoughts.

Thankfully, he did not stay with her long after he finished his tale, preferring to get up and dance with Lydia. Elizabeth pushed away the disturbing thoughts for the rest of the evening – she could reflect on it better after a good night's rest and an early walk.

Meanwhile, Mr Darcy paced in his room in Netherfield. He had sent his letter to his aunt several days ago, and had hoped to obtain at least some answers by the end of the week. His mind was scolding him not to court Miss Elizabeth until he was absolutely certain that there was no scandal attached to her name, but the screams of his heart seemed to get louder every day. He was aware that he was now approaching the limits of his patience, when his valet knocked and quickly entered the room without waiting for an answer – a fact that proved the absolute trust Darcy had in the man.

''This letter just arrived for you, Sir. I took the liberty of bringing it up to you immediately.'' The valet said with a small smile.

''Ah, yes, thank you, Morgan. You can leave it on the table.'' Mr Darcy answered with feigned nonchalance.

The valet's smile widened and he did as he was told before leaving with a quick bow, giving his master the privacy he obviously needed to read the letter.

As soon as the door closed, the gentleman grabbed the letter and settled in the nearest sofa before breaking the seal.

My dearest nephew,

Henry's health has improved, but I fear the cold of the coming winter may be hard on him. He has only just recovered. We will soon leave London, and travel to the seaside. I hope the sea air will help my eldest son.

I am happy Mrs Annesley is able to help Georgiana. I had no doubt she would be a perfect companion to her, but I was unsure Georgiana would accept a stranger after her recent heartbreak. I am glad she did. She only has a couple more years before entering society, and we both know she can expect no compassion from them.

As for your request, I must confess I was quite surprised by your interest in this Bennet family, and more specifically for the second daughter – Miss Elizabeth. Do not worry, I have not breathed a word of this to your uncle, or your cousins. Though if what I suspect is indeed correct, I expect this young woman to meet our family soon.

I did as you asked, and searched for anything I could find out about the Bennets. The uncle you told me about, Mr Gardiner, owns a quite successful business. He could easily afford an estate or a house in a more fashionable part of London, but it appears that he enjoys his activity and finds Gracechurh Street convenient for him – something about it being close to his warehouses. From what I have been hearing, he is an honest and intelligent man.

Of the Bennets, there is little I could find. They are wealthy enough, but the father has not been to London in years, and none of the daughters has ever participated in the Season. I found nothing that could even suggest some hidden scandal. Nor did I find anything more about your Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

I am afraid my letter does not answer all your questions. I am quite convinced that there is no scandal attached to the name of Bennet. Unfortunately, this does not explain why she would be treated differently by her family. But I do believe that only those involved will be able to answer the rest of your questions.

I am happy that you are finally letting a woman enter your life, and I trust your judgement. I hope Richard will follow your example soon.

Your dearest aunt,

Lady Amelia Fitzwilliam.

Mr Darcy let out a deep sigh. His aunt was no gossip, but she had long mastered the art of inquiring about people and uncovering secrets. She was quite a formidable woman, and he suspected she knew enough to socially ruin many of the most influential people in town. If she was unable to find a scandal, then there was none.

Nothing prevented him from courting Miss Elizabeth. Except the young woman herself, but he was convinced that she simply needed some time. Obviously, she already trusted him. And she seemed to enjoy their discussions as much as he did.

At this thought he glanced at the window, and was disappointed to notice that the sky had already darkened. It was too late to call at Longbourn today. With a sigh, he called for his valet and prepared himself for dinner with his friend and his sisters.

He slept extremely well that night, dreaming of his future life in Pemberley with Elizabeth as his wife. He awoke early, feeling more refreshed than he had been in years. Morgan, however, was not as cheerful while he prepared his master for the day but refrained from remarking on the hour – he had not seen Mr Darcy in such a bright mood since the old master's death.

The gentleman decided against breaking his fast, only taking a couple of apples for Sonata and himself. He saddled the stallion himself, and pushed the horse to a canter as soon as he reached the fields. Only then did he realize that it was much earlier than the time he usually set out, and certainly far too early to call on the Bennets. With a shrug, he decided to simply enjoy his ride until he could hope to meet Miss Elizabeth at the fence between Longbourn estate and Netherfield.

About an hour later, he attached his Sonata to the fence and, unwilling to just wait here standing, started down the lane that Miss Elizabeth took nearly every morning. He hoped that the presence of Mr Collins would not prevent her from going on her usual morning walk today.

He stopped suddenly when he heard a sound that he would never have expected to hear on a forest lane. A Beethoven sonata. Curious, he got off the road and followed the music. He soon noticed the entrance of a small clearing and the feminine figure seated on the far side of it.

His heart skipped a beat. He could not see her face clearly from here, but he had recognized her immediately. Elizabeth. Playing a small harp in the middle of the forest. He stopped before she could see him, and slowly started to walk around the clearing, still concealed by the trees, to get a better view.

The music changed. She was now playing a piece written by Mozart. She had not finished the previous piece, but the change had been flawless. Somehow, the sound of music fit well with the natural sounds of the forest, as though the birds and the wind were playing with her in an improvised concert.

He stopped when he got a clear view of her profile. She was still playing, her eyes closed and her face relaxed and smiling. His heart clenched. He had never seen her so peaceful than in this moment. He would give anything to see that look on her face everyday.

He listened quietly for some time, wishing he had a talent in drawing and the supplies to immortalize this precious moment. When she stopped playing, he waited until the echo of the last notes faded away before he straightened and slowly walked into the playing, feeling as if he was slowly waking from a dream.

She quickly turned towards him when she heard the noise, but relaxed when she saw him, much to his pleasure.

He bowed in greeting. ''Miss Elizabeth. I did not know you played.''

She carefully settled the small harp on the ground next to her and rose to curtsy. ''Mr Darcy. I rarely play in company. I prefer the harp to the pianoforte, and very few families have one in their drawing room for entertainment.'' She explained simply. Mr Darcy decided that the first gift he would offer her when they married would be a harp in each of their houses.

She looked at him and continued. ''In fact, Sir, there is something I had hoped to discuss with you.''

With a wave of his arm, he invited her to sit back on her tree stump while he settled on a fallen tree. She smiled hesitantly.

''You may remember, Mr Darcy, that you were hesitant to address the words of Sir William Lucas about myself the evening we met.'' She stopped and he nodded in agreement, unsure why she was thinking about this particular conversation now.

''I now find myself in a similar situation as you were that night. I hope you will not be offended by what I am about to tell you.''

''Rest assured, Miss Elizabeth, that I would never blame you for the words of someone else.''

''Thank you, Sir.'' She paused. ''I made the acquaintance of a Mr Wickham yesterday. He had charming manners, but I must confess that his gaze made me uncomfortable. What I wish to discuss with you, however, is the story he told me.''

Mr Darcy frowned. He had not known that man was in the area, and feared what he might have said to the young woman – and whether or not she had believed him. She glanced at him, then focused on the ground, obviously uncomfortable with what she had to tell him.

''His story did not sound coherent with your character, and some details were carefully avoided, and I have no doubt that his intent was to inspire pity and blame your character. Unfortunately, I fear his tale may be quite believable for people who do not know you well enough. You should not allow this man to slander your character in the neighbourhood.''

He stood up and paced nervously. ''Indeed, I should not. Do you know when he arrived in Meryton?''

''A couple of days ago. He joined the militia – he is a lieutenant if I recall correctly.'' She replied.

He nodded, trying to determine what he could do to ensure Wickham was dealt with while still protecting Georgiana. Finally, he stopped his pacing and stood in front of her.

''If you have time, Miss Elizabeth, there is a story I would like to share with you. One that involves to Mr Wickham.''


	13. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Elizabeth listened with growing horror to Mr Darcy's story of his acquaintance with Mr Wickham. She had already suspected that the lieutenant's charming manners were not the true reflection of his character, but she would never have believed that he was so duplicitous. It was simply the kind of man you heard of from the gossips of London, that you feared encountering yet somehow were convinced you would never meet.

What shocked her the most was his treatment of Georgiana. Not only had she been a young, innocent girl, but she was also the daughter of the gentleman who had given him so much from childhood to university. Her guess would be that his vindictive attitude was the consequence of jealousy towards Mr Darcy, for being born as the heir of Pemberley Estate while he was born the steward's son.

She could see the pain the tale caused Mr Darcy, both because of his sister's heartbreak and because of the betrayal of a childhood friend – perhaps almost a brother. She almost reached out to offer him comfort as she would with her sister Jane, but stopped herself in time. She had removed her gloves to play the harp and now quickly put them back on – just in case her body tried to act without her consent again.

Mr Darcy concluded. ''I must say that I am pleased you saw through Mr Wickham's manners. Many young women have failed to do so before, as he is unfortunately quite skilled at endearing himself to gentle souls.''

She inclined her head slightly. ''I thank you, Sir. However, I should point that, in our society, women are expected to be charming and amiable, whereas gentlemen may choose to be so. Those who are not naturally amiable like your friend Mr Bingley therefore have some reason to be so. As a consequence, a woman being rude will draw notice, just as a gentleman being especially kind to a woman will be seen as a particular compliment.''

He looked at her, and thought briefly of her mother and younger sisters. He doubted he would tolerate rude behaviour from anyone, regardless of their sex, but did not want to engage in a debate at the moment. He expected the day to be trying enough as he found some way to ensure Mr Wickham would cause no harm.

Instead, he asked. ''And you did not take his attentions to yourself as a compliment?''

She grinned. ''Oh, it most certainly was a compliment. But it felt more like a compliment to himself than to his conversation partner. Like I said, most men have a purpose when they show kindness to someone. I am not someone who trusts a stranger easily. His insincere compliments and his immediate openness made me wary.'' She paused. ''And no honourable man would try to obtain the favours of a lady by slandering another gentleman.''

''Indeed. I will talk with his commanding officer. My cousin Richard, with whom I share the guardianship of my sister, is a Colonel and will certainly confirm my claims to Colonel Foster. Unfortunately, if Mr Wickham has already started to spread rumours about my character to the local shopkeepers, they may not listen to my words. Such warnings would held more sway if they were given by an important family of the area.'' He said slowly, attempting to determine the likely outcome of each solution that appeared in his mind.

Elizabeth put her harp back in the basket and stood up. ''You may as well say it, Mr Darcy. And I do agree with you. The Meryton shopkeepers would not heed your words, but they would listen to the Master of Longbourn, my father.''

Mr Darcy frowned. ''Do you think your father would accept my warnings? I have bought many of Mr Wickham's previous debts, but I do not have the evidence of it with me at Netherfield – I had no reason to suspect that I would need it. I would rather act quickly, but if your father needs proof of the truthfulness of my assertions, I will have to wait until my steward can send me the documents.''

''My father may not be passionate about estate matters, but he would not let harm come to his family. I believe you may approach him as soon as it suits you. If he does require proof, he will not mind waiting for it a few days.'' She stated. After all, her father had always protected her, in his own way. He had simply not realized that she needed more than he had offered.

The gentleman agreed and picked up her basket before offering her his arm. ''I left my horse tied to the fence. I will first go to Colonel Foster, and then call on your father.''

When they reached the road, she expressed a desire to see his stallion before she continued on her morning walk while he rode to Meryton. Sonata was quite restless when they finally arrived at the fence, and Mr Darcy hurriedly untied him. Without thinking, Elizabeth removed her right glove and pressed her hand to the neck of the horse, sending him calm feelings while murmuring softly. Once he quietened, she let herself relax and absorb some of his energy.

It was something she often did with the horses and dogs at Longbourn, and she only became aware of Mr Darcy's surprised look when she removed her hand after patting Sonata one last time. Blushing, she forced herself to slowly put her glove back on and not shake under his scrutiny. For all he knew, she had simply touched and soothed his horse. He had no reason to be suspicious of anything unusual, as long as she did not act as if she were guilty of some misdeed.

''You seem to have quite the gift with horses.'' He commented honestly.

She was unsure how to respond to this statement and was still shaken by her slip of carefulness, when a man called out.

''Miss! Please, Miss!''

She turned towards the voice, thankful for both the interruption and the fact that Mr Darcy had already crossed the fence. They could safely pretend that they had just encountered one another, without any breach of propriety.

The man was Mr Cubbins, a hard-working tenant from Longbourn. And one she had intended to visit today, for she heard that his son had been unwell for a few days. He arrived at their side, panting.

''Excuse me, Sir, Miss. But I saw you as I was running to Longbourn, Miss. It's me son. He… He fell. We were in the field, removing the stones, and he just fell. He was a bit short of breath this last week, but said he felt good enough for the work, and… Oh, please Miss, can you help? Me wife is with him.''

She agreed immediately, her previous fear and discomfort forgotten. ''I have some herbs in my basket. Hopefully, it will be enough. Did he fall far from your house? He would be better if we could get him inside…''

''I will come with you. You may need help carrying your son if he cannot walk.'' Mr Darcy interrupted. Elizabeth nodded and quickly introduced both men before they followed Mr Cubbins to his wife and son.

The ten-year old boy was still unconscious when they arrived, and Elizabeth was thankful that the weather had been dry over the last few days – at least the child was not lying in cold mud. She noticed that his breathing was quick and shallow, and felt the heat of his brow through her glove. When Mr Darcy and Mr Cubbins started to lift him up gently, the boy coughed. A wet, harsh cough that did not reassure the young woman.

The boy was laid on his bed, more delirious with fever than truly unconscious, but still breathing difficultly. Elizabeth asked Mrs Cubbins to prepare hot water and sent Mr Cubbins to Longbourn with a note asking Jane to give him enough willow bark to last a few days – she doubted she had enough in her basket.

While Mrs Cubbins was busying herself in the next room, she knelt next to the bed and felt Mr Darcy move closer.

''Can you help him?'' he asked with some uncertainty. She did not doubt that he had seen similar cases before, just as she had. And she remembered him saying that his own mother had died of a cold settled in her lungs. Those affections were often hard to cure.

She shook her head. ''I have not examined him enough to give any prognosis yet. Please, do not move anymore, Sir. I need to listen to his breathing.''

Leaning in close, she did just that. In addition to his laboured breaths, she heard a slight wheezing sound. His lungs were probably full of fluids.

She doubted the herbs would be enough to help him at this point, and let her hand fall back on her laps. He was the Cubbins only child. She often saw him playing with other tenants children during her walks. He was polite and respectful, helped his father in the field and his mother at home. A dear child.

And he was dying.

She glanced at Mr Darcy, and saw his solemn face. He had obviously reached a similar conclusion. The face of five-year-old Elliot flashed in her mind. Another boy who could not be cured by herbs alone. He had been in an even worse state than young Thomas Cubbins, and his worried parents had hovered behind her. She had not dared to heal him and risk revealing her abilities.

Now, however, she was alone with Mr Darcy, and the gentleman was still waiting for her diagnosis. The boy was delirious – she had nothing to fear from him.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she focused and removed her glove once again. She would have to act quickly, as if she was simply feeling the boy's brow again. A very short time, to try and heal him enough to have hope of him surviving.

She let herself feel the health of the young Thomas for a second, confirming that his lungs were in a bad state, before she pushed energy into him and prayed for his recovery. As soon as she was confident he would survive, she lifted her hand away and sighed.

She turned towards the gentleman, who looked expectantly at her – apparently, he had not noticed anything strange. She smiled weakly. ''I believe he will survive. But he may never fully recover.''

Mrs Cubbins arrived with hot water before she could go in further details and Elizabeth started to prepare a tea from the dried mullein leaves in her basket. She asked Mr Darcy to help the boy in a sitted position while Mrs Cubbins retrieved a piece of cloth. She put the bowl of tea under the boy's nose, using the cloth to make sure he inhaled as much of the vapours as possible.

In a gentle voice, she explained that, though she was quite certain Thomas would survive, it was unlikely he would ever regain full health. He would always be shorter of breath, and more prone to lung problems than most. It would probably be preferable to start training him as a footman, because the more physical work and the dust of a farmer's life would be much harder on him.

After leaving instructions to repeat the mullein tea – both for the smoke and for drinking – until Thomas completely stopped coughing and to make him chew willow bark until the fever broke, Elizabeth and Mr Darcy took their leave of Mrs Cubbins. Mr Darcy congratulated her on her knowledge and efficiency, and then climbed in the saddle to go to Colonel Foster.

Elizabeth slowly returned to Longbourn, wondering how she might ensure that young Thomas could become a footman at Longbourn. She was unsure Mr Collins would be a kind master to the tenants – probably not a viscous one, but not an overly eager one either. With Jane probably married in a few months, and her own majority approaching, she had to prepare her leaving. She did not want the tenants to suffer from her lack of preparations.

Perhaps, now that Mr Darcy was fully aware of her managing the estate, she could confide in him her desire to leave Longbourn, and ask for his advice in searching for a capable and loyal steward? The income of the estate was enough to afford it, and it would ensure a smoother transition for Mr Collins and Mary.


	14. Consent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit late, this week-end has been busy...

Despite his wish to resolve the business with Wickham as soon as possible, Darcy did not hurry on the road to Meryton. The morning had been quite eventful already, and he needed to organize his thoughts while he benefited from some quietness and solitude.

The day had begun quite happily as he eagerly set out to see Miss Elizabeth after his aunt's letter and barely veiled approval and prodding. He then had the surprise to discover her playing the harp in the middle of the forest, more relaxed than he had ever seen her.

In retrospect, it was perhaps quite fortunate that she had had such unpleasant things to discuss. Otherwise, he might have confessed his growing feelings and frightened her. He realized that the young woman would not change her mind about marriage overnight, though she definitely trusted him. She had even seen through Wickham's false manners and experienced charm, choosing to believe himself over the so-called gentleman.

Then, there had been the way she calmed Sonata, soothing him with a few caresses and soft words. His spirited stallion had quietened faster than he had ever seen him. He had heard of people who were extraordinary gifted with horses, but he had never met one before. It seemed the young woman was one, and he remembered her blushing face with some amusement. After years of hiding behind her father as master of the estate, she was obviously unused to being in the spotlight.

Except when the health of a tenant was concerned. He had been impressed with her quick and precise directions, her confidence as she examined the boy. He himself did not have any knowledge in this area beyond witnessing both his parents slowly falling to illness. Second to the sadness, the most proeminent feeling attached to these memories was helplessness. He had not been able to help either of them.

As a child, when his mother failed to recover, he blamed his father – he was the adult, the one who seemed to know everything, but he could not heal his mother. Years after, it was his father who fell ill and he blamed the physician, until he realized that not even them could defy God's will. To watch someone you love fade before your eyes without being able to do anything was the worst feeling he had ever experienced.

Therefore, when he saw Miss Elizabeth's decisive attitude, he envied her slightly. She could be useful instead of lamenting.

He was surprised, however, by her prognosis. His mother had slowly died from a lung affection, yet Miss Elizabeth was apparently convinced that the boy would mostly recover. He had to grant that she had probably more experience than him in such cases, but he feared she might have been overly optimistic – people often preferred to believe a lie than to face the truth and finality of death. Then again, he had often heard that children healed better than adults and older people.

He sincerely hoped she was right. As much as he envied her ability to be useful, he suspected the feeling of failure was much stronger for the healer than for the spectator. Only time would tell if the young Thomas Cubbins recovered.

On a more personal note, Darcy now had to determine how exactly he would woo Miss Elizabeth. He could prolong his stay in Hertfordshire, but he would eventually have to return to Pemberley and see to his affairs. He would rather leave with her promise to marry him. Then he could prepare the Mistress' rooms in London and Pemberley. And buy a harp for the music room – between Georgiana's pianoforte and the window overlooking the gardens.

Miss Elizabeth's trust in him was clearly quite high, and he hoped she realized that it was mutual – he would never had revealed his family matters otherwise. At the present moment, their relationship could be qualified as a strong friendship. He was unsure her feelings ran deeper, but he was certain that his did. They did not need to both be in love with each other before the wedding. He would slowly let her know of his interest through small gestures, and then ask to court her. He did not anticipate the courtship to be a long one, both because of his own limitations to the amount of time he could remain away from Pemberley or London and because once Miss Elizabeth agreed to a courtship she would have basically agreed to the idea of marriage to him.

Darcy's happy thoughts were interrupted when he entered the small town, and he forced his mind to focus on less pleasant matters. He quickly enquired where he could find the Colonel Foster and soon required an audience with the man.

The Colonel welcomed him good-naturedly and offered him a drink which he refused – he had much to do after this interview and would rather keep his mind clear.

''So, Mr Darcy, may I ask what you wished to discuss with me this morning?'' Colonel Foster asked once they were comfortably sitted.

''I will not tarry, Colonel. It has come to my knowledge that a man called Mr Wickham has recently joined your regiment. I know him quite well, as he was my father's godson, but I cannot call him honourable. My purpose this morning, therefore, is to warn you and plead you to send him to another regiment where he will be closely watched.''

''These are important accusations. Can you be more specific, Sir? How exactly has he proven himself unhonourable?''

''Then I ask you forgive the crassness of my words. He has wasted all his inheritance from my father and his own through gambling and womanizing. I have bought many debts from him since our days at Cambridge, and dealt with more than one woman he impregnated and abandoned. If you wish, I can ask my solicitor to send a copy of all my dealings pertaining Mr Wickham.''

''That will not be necessary, Mr Darcy. I do not think you are the kind of man who would make such accusations without proof.''

The Colonel sat up straighter. ''However, I am also a man who strongly believes in second chances and the benefits of military discipline. Many soldiers have a questionable past and joined the army because they had nowhere else to go. I have seen many of those undergo an impressive attitude adjustment thanks to the strict life of a soldier and the prospect of battle.''

''Unfortunately, Mr Wickham has had several opportunities to redeem himself in the past. I do not expect this time to be any different.'' Darcy commented.

''You may be right, of course, but you may also be wrong. And we will never know which one it is unless we give my new lieutenant a chance.''

Colonel Foster rose. Darcy immediately followed. ''I thank you, Sir, for taking the time to warn me. I promise you I will keep a close eye on my new recruit.''

''Are you truly willing to risk the consequences if Wickham reverts to his old ways? Can you bear the responsibility of it?'' Darcy challenged.

''I am a Colonel, Sir. I have faced many things that you have only ever seen in your nightmares. The rules in the militia are strict. No matter what, Mr Wickham will not be able to injure anyone besides himself.'' The man stated strongly.

Frustrated but understanding that Colonel Foster was quite firm in his decision, Darcy thanked him and took his leave. He was well aware that, even closely watched, Wickham was more than capable of causing mayhem.

This short and unsatisfying interview made his discussion with Mr Bennet even more important. If he could not send Wickham away, the next best move was to warn his potential victims of the danger he represented.

When he reached Longbourn, Darcy was not surprised to find that Bingley was already there, quietly conversing with Miss Bennet. Given his purpose today, he begged the butler not to announce him to the family but to ask Mr Bennet for a moment of his time. The man's surprise was badly concealed but he did as he was asked and Mr Darcy was quickly ushered into the Master's study.

As he entered the room, he was first struck by how impersonal it was. His own study in Pemberley – or London – had long been decorated to suit his tastes. It was after all a room where a Master spent a lot of time, working on various matters, and he needed to feel comfortable to be more efficient. The room he was now in did not feel as lived in. Either Miss Elizabeth did not often work in this room, preferring another one, or she had never dared to redecorate it for appearances' sake.

He exchanged greetings with the older gentleman, refusing again the offered drink, and settled in the chair in front of the desk. Looking at Mr Bennet, he could only remember his disappointment and contempt for the man who had shouldered his fifteen year old daughter with his burden. To beg a favour from such a man left a sour taste in his mouth.

Fleetingly, he wondered when Miss Elizabeth would reach her majority. Then he would be under no obligation to apply for her father's consent and blessing.

''You wanted to see me, Mr Darcy?'' Mr Bennet asked. ''I assume it is about this young lieutenant my Elizabeth is wary of.''

Darcy nodded and then quickly developed his story with Wickham, only leaving out the most recent experience with Georgiana. He enumerated the figures he remembered about the debts he had bought, to further impress on the man the danger Wickham was to the small town's merchants.

He concluded. ''I believe, Sir, that it would be most beneficial if the official Master of Longbourn himself warned the shopkeepers to protect their accounts and their daughters from Mr Wickham.''

''Indeed, it would, I guess. However, I take it from your tone and wording that you are aware of the unique situation of my estate's management. I suppose you figured it out during our last conversation.'' The gentleman asked lightly.

Teeth clenched to stop himself from insulting the man and his cavalier attitude, Darcy slowly nodded.

''I confess I am surprised by your heartfelt and strong reaction, Mr Darcy. This situation is not your concern, and I cannot imagine you taking such an interest in lower people's private matters. Therefore, the question is: why are you so passionate about it?''

Darcy squirmed uncomfortably as Mr Bennet stared intently at him. He saw the moment realisation dawned in the old man's gaze.

''Elizabeth, of course. This is why you find yourself justified to judge me so harshly. But it would be a stupid man, Sir, who would judge another without knowing the full story.''

''With all due respect, Sir, I believe I know more than enough.'' Darcy claimed.

Mr Bennet shook his head and laughed without humour. ''No, you do not, Mr Darcy. But that is a matter for another day. I will do as you ask, and warn the shopkeepers about your old friend.'' Darcy stiffened at the mention of friendship between Wickham and himself. ''And while we are in private and formal conversation, I will give you my consent to courting or marrying Elizabeth. It is not my approval you will have difficulty earning. If you can ever convince her, I shall have no objections.''

Speechless, Darcy mumbled polite words to thank Mr Bennet. Had the man truly just given him his consent without him even asking, and to a man he had only seen once before today? He did not know whether he should be happy to have Miss Elizabeth's father approval, or disgusted that the man was again so cavalier in the care of his family.

He slowly walked towards the door, and had the hand on the handle when he remembered one last detail.

''Sir, Mr Wickham, for all his dissolute behaviour, can be extremely charming – especially to young and inexperienced women. You should share what we discussed with your younger daughters.''

The old gentleman waved his hand dismissively. ''I would not be overly worried about that, Mr Darcy. My daughters may flirt, but my wife would never allow them to attach themselves to a young and poor officer when they can aspire to marry wealthier and better connected gentlemen. Now, I believe you have a long and hard task ahead of you if you ever wish to earn my daughter's agreement to a courtship.''


	15. Invitations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, real life has been busy...  
> Enjoy!

Closing the door of Mr Bennet's study behind him, Darcy exhaled slowly and took a minute to recompose himself before he joined the family in the drawing room. Though he was now confident that he had done as much as he could to protect the inhabitants of Meryton from Wickham, he had not expected this last interview to be so disconcerting. With a shrug, he determined that there was no reason to ponder the matter of Mr Bennet's behaviour any longer – he did not intend to have much interactions with the older gentleman.

 

A footman announced him and he entered the drawing room, greeting the rest of the Bennet family and unsurprised to see Bingley privately speaking with Miss Bennet in a corner of the room. The presence of his friend's sisters, however, was less expected. Though they sometime accompanied Bingley, they usually avoided the country society. He suspected that his friend had insisted that they come this morning – he was eager to see a friendship develop between Caroline, Louisa and Miss Jane Bennet, and seemed oblivious to the reluctance of his sisters.

 

As usual, Miss Elizabeth was withdrawn in company, quietly embroidering and glancing at her sister from time to time. She glanced up at his entrance, raising an eyebrow in silent enquiry. He nodded quickly, confirming that he had talked to her father about Wickham. She smiled and focused back on her work.

 

When he finally noticed his tall friend, Bingley happily called for everyone's attention.

 

''It is my great pleasure to inform my dearest neighbours that I will hold a ball at Netherfield in a fortnight, and that you are all invited!''

 

The surprise was shared by everyone in the room, though the delight was not. From Miss Bingley's strangled cry, Darcy guessed that his friend had failed to inform his sister of such a plan and that she was perhaps worried of preparing the event in only two weeks as well as having to host people she only felt contempt for.

 

Darcy himself had mixed feelings about the announcement. He had known that Bingley toyed with the idea of a ball, but he had still been undecided last night – knowing his friend's impulsive nature, he may well have decided only a minute before he announced it to the room. The idea of attending another public event in an unfamiliar neighbourhood did not appeal to him either, until he realized that it may be the perfect occasion to start courting Miss Elizabeth.

 

While he pondered these thoughts, Bingley had already been granted the first and supper sets by Miss Bennet. Darcy's first instinct was to ask for those same sets from the sister, but acknowledged that asking for two sets would be too much of a statement at this point. His practical mind therefore determined to ask for the one set that would allow him the most time with Miss Elizabeth, and he approached her to invite her for the supper set. She seemed slightly surprised by the offer, but granted it with a smile.

 

Meanwhile, Mr Collins had also followed Bingley's example, convincing Miss Mary Bennet to dance the first and supper set with him – much to Mrs Bennet's delight – and was now asking the other sisters for one set each, by order of birth.

 

Darcy noticed the incensed and slightly betrayed glare Miss Bingley shot him and, with a suppressed sigh, did his duty as a guest by requesting her hand for the first set. Hopefully that would appease her enough that he would not have to endure endless complaints about the Bennets – though her comments were not always inaccurate. At least, he would then be able to simply enjoy the evening in Miss Elizabeth's company, even more so if he managed to obtain her last set as well.

 

The visit ended soon after, Miss Bingley claiming that she had much to do to prepare Netherfield. The eldest sisters accompanied the guests to their carriage while Mrs Bennet ran to her husband's study to share the most important news with him.

 

While Bingley handed his sisters in the carriage and said his farewells to Miss Bennet, Darcy retrieved his horse and shared the results of his interview with Colonel Foster with Miss Elizabeth. She expressed her own worry that increased watching may not be enough and promised to ensure her father warned the shopkeepers as soon as possible.

 

Darcy stopped listening to her when he noticed that her hands were bare again. He had been prudent in his actions pertaining her all morning, but surely a little boldness could serve his cause? How could he expect Miss Elizabeth to agree to a courtship if he did not show her his interest in some way?

 

When she wished him a safe ride back to Netherfield, he grasped her hand, bowing over it to kiss it.

 

The moment their hands touched, he felt some strange connection and Miss Elizabeth's small gasp informed him that he was not alone in this feeling. He relished the physical and intimate sensation of touching her skin for the first time, until the young woman took a step back and abruptly retrieved her hand. Straightening, he looked up to see her confused face. Perhaps he should not have kissed her hand, but he could not bring himself to regret it. With a soft smile and a final bow, he took his leave.

 

''I apologize if my actions made you uncomfortable, Miss Elizabeth. Until tomorrow.''

 

She murmured appropriate words of farewell, her eyes still showing her confusion, and he climbed in the saddle, quite satisfied with the effect he had had on her.

 

The next day, he was surprised when he did not encounter her on their usual path, but supposed that the unexpected announcement of a ball had given her additional work – no doubt Mrs Bennet was demanding her to relinquish more funds to buy new gowns for all the sisters.

 

He felt the first hint of doubt when she proved absent from Longbourn when he came to call with Bingley later the same day. He had clearly stated his intention to see her the previous day, and had expected her to be waiting for his visit. He was also uncomfortable with the way Miss Bennet had stared at him before she focused on his friend.

 

The rest of the week confirmed his growing suspicions. Miss Elizabeth was going out of her way to avoid his presence. He was quite sure he had seen her exiting the house through the back door on at least one occasion when he had come to call with Bingley. He never encountered her along the paths between Netherfield and Longbourn, and had little hope of a chance encounter in the parts of the forest he was unfamiliar with. She could easily spot him from afar or hear Sonata and escape down a path concealed by low branches.

 

He still tried though, attempting a new path everyday and listening intently, hoping he might hear her playing the harp from another invisible clearing.

 

Unsurprisingly, the lack of success was starting to be frustrating. The satisfied look of Miss Bingley, clearly reassured in her delusions by Miss Elizabeth avoidance of him, was also slowly bearing on his patience.

 

More than Miss Bingley, however, it was the amused looks of Mr Bennet that infuriated him. The older gentleman sometimes attended the guests when they called and alternated between teasing Bingley and his eldest daughter, and loudly commenting on Elizabeth's absence or unusually long walk while staring at him. Somehow, it seemed Mr Bennet had expected such a reaction from his second daughter, and instead of reasoning her he was delighting in making fun of the slighted suitor.

 

Darcy shook his head. What was the man thinking? He had no heir besides this foolish parson, no insurance that his unmarried daughters and wife would be well taken care of after his death. Was it not his duty to ensure most of his daughters were married to respectable men who would honour them and provide for them? If he was ready to give his consent, why wasn't he making sure his daughter attended her suitor and perspective husband?

 

The ball was now less than a week away, and Darcy started to fear that Miss Elizabeth would not attend. It seemed she liked such events, but he feared the perspective of over an hour in his company would make her pretend some illness to beg off.

 

Admitting that he would not be able to resolve the present situation on his own, he finally confessed his growing feelings for Miss Elizabeth to his friend. Bingley listened with an attention that was quite uncharacteristic for him, but suited Darcy's mood – he had no wish to be a source of amusement for one more person.

 

Apparently, his friend had already suspected Darcy's interest, but had not dared to ask him directly, knowing how private the dark gentleman was. He confessed his own intentions of proposing to Jane Bennet at the ball, and offered to discuss Elizabeth's behaviour with her during their next call at Longbourn. She might also be able to convince her to at least attend the ball.

 

Though frustrated and slightly ashamed that he had to rely on someone else for such a private matter, Darcy agreed gratefully. He knew he would not be able to stay long in Hertfordshire following the ball – his steward was starting to insist that he did not delay his return to Pemberley any more than absolutely necessary.

 

The two gentlemen called at Longbourn again the next morning, and Darcy was disappointed again by Miss Elizabeth's absence. Ignoring Mrs Bennet's hint that he should sit with Miss Lydia, he went to stand before the window overlooking the gardens, trying to see if he could make out the form of a young woman somewhere between the trees, while patiently waiting for his friend.

 

Half an hour later, Bingley rose and thanked Mrs Bennet for her hospitality. Miss Bennet followed the gentlemen to see them out, and exchanged a few whispered words with Bingley as he retrieved his coat. Darcy looked towards the stairs, hoping that Miss Elizabeth might come down after hearing the front door open. When it became obvious that she would not, he turned back towards the front door and was surprised to see Bingley waiting outside and Miss Bennet in front of him. She curtsied and began.

 

''I realize my sister's behaviour must be frustrating to you, but I can assure you that she is not doing this to hurt you.'' She smiled kindly. ''I would never betray my sister's confidence, but I can tell you that she has never felt the need to _avoid_ a suitor before. ''

 

Understanding, Darcy nodded. It seemed he had least one ally in Miss Elizabeth's family.

 

''I thank you for your support, Miss Bennet.''

 

''Lizzy and I have always been close, and even chose to come out in society together. I was the first person she told of her decision not to marry, before our first ball.''

 

She locked her eyes with him, and Darcy was surprised by the determination he could read from someone so gentle.

 

''We exchanged promises one day. I promised her that I would only accept a man I loved and admired, and Elizabeth promised me that if she ever met a man she could love, she would give him a chance. I strongly feel that it is time for me to remind her of that promise.''

 

Darcy felt his heart swell. Though he could not say that Miss Elizabeth loved him, he was happy to hear her closest sister agree that she was not indifferent to him and could grow to love him. He was also surprised to hear of that promise – there had been absolutely no hint of such a promise in his previous discussions with Miss Elizabeth.

 

''However, I am not foolish enough to believe that Elizabeth would open her heart twice. Nor will she be able to accept a man she cannot trust absolutely. If I am to convince her to let you court her, I need to be sure that you can be such a man.''

 

''I have felt the pain of betrayal before, and I would never willingly inflict it on someone I care about, Miss Bennet. You can be reassured that Miss Elizabeth has nothing to fear from me. I understand that no relationship can happen without trust.''

 

She nodded. ''I thank you, Sir, and I apologize for my improper questions.''

 

He shook his head and assured her that no apologies were necessary.

 

''I will speak to my sister, but she will also need time. I shall be able to convince her to attend the ball, but it will be harder to do so if she feels pressured by seeing you calling at Longbourn everyday.'' She added hesitantly.

 

He sighed, but understood her reasoning. ''I thank you again for your support, Miss Bennet. I will await your sister for our set at the ball, and will not attempt to force my presence on her until then. You have my word.''


	16. Discomfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the new chapter!

Elizabeth sighed, watching the gentleman ride Sonata along the path between Netherfield and Longbourn. Though she did her best to avoid him, she could not seem to prevent her feet from leading her to Oakham Mount, from where she may catch a glimpse of Mr Darcy while he obviously searched for her. She knew he would not be able to notice her on top of the small hill as there were still enough leaves on the trees to provide sufficient shadow.

 

When the dark gentleman had kissed her hand, she had been surprised, both by the unexpected gesture and by the feelings she had felt from him. She had stepped back and broken the contact before she truly realized what was happening, an instinctive reaction from years of being careful to avoid such physical contact with everyone and anyone around her. When he apologized for surprising her and took his leave, she replied automatically, her mind still trying to sort out what she had felt from him and her own feelings.

 

It was probably the only reason she had not panicked in front of him. As soon as he followed the Bingleys carriage, she nearly ran to her meadow.

 

Her first concern had of course been the possibility that Mr Darcy noticed that she absorbed some energy from him. She spend several minutes berating herself for being so careless and forgetting her gloves. She feared the consequences it might have on Jane's courtship with Mr Bingley if his friend discovered her abnormality.

 

Her rational mind pointed out that, much like the revelations about Mr Wickham, it was unlikely the neighbourhood would pay any mind to the reserved and proud gentleman if he accused her of witchcraft. And she highly doubted he would expose himself in such a way even if he were convinced of her strange ability. Besides, he had barely held her hand for a second. It was unlikely he had the time to notice anything out of the ordinary – and if he had he would probably put it down to his own imagination.

 

Therefore, Elizabeth had quickly calmed down, admitting to herself that she had no reasons to worry about this particular matter. Her secret was still safe.

 

Unfortunately, she could not ignore as easily the feelings she had felt from Mr Darcy. No matter how briefly she had felt it, his admiration was undeniable. Though she would not call it love – if only because she had no idea what romantic love was supposed to feel like – she had to admit that she had never felt such powerful feelings from someone before, much less directed at her. It was both flattering and frightening.

 

What truly puzzled and worried her, however, was the pleasure she had felt at being the recipient of Mr Darcy's admiration, as well as how dearly she missed his company. She longed for those daily walks, their intimate conversations on their respective families, the sharing of their experience in estate management, the peace and safety she felt when she was with him.

 

She couldn't marry – and she had been honest with the gentleman since the first evening of their acquaintance – but she had to acknowledge that their frequent encounters were very similar to a courtship. Unknowingly, it seemed she had raised the expectations of Mr Darcy – and herself. She certainly could not blame the gentleman for kissing her hand, when her every actions had so completely contradicted her words.

 

Therefore, she resolved to stop all interactions with the gentleman, hoping to preserve her own heart and spare her suitor's feelings before his heart became more engaged.

 

She was also worried, thinking back on the few times she had used or nearly used her abilities in front of Mr Darcy, that she was perhaps _too_ comfortable around this gentleman.  She was extremely fortunate that her abilities were not so obvious unless the person was subjected to it directly.

 

She slipped back into the house, silently joining the family in the drawing room once she was sure that Mr Darcy had not accompanied  his friend .  Mr Bingley continued his attentions to Jane, and neither her mother's  remarks nor her father's annoying teasing of the young couple seemed to disturb the gentleman.  Elizabeth believed that it would not be long before he proposed and was happy for her sister.

 

She was unsure, however, of how she would handle the transition. She was not yet old enough to leave her father's house, and would never ask Jane to delay her wedding for her.  Moreover, because of the close friendship between Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy, and her  own  tendency to nearly reveal herself around the dark gentleman, she questioned the  idea of  accepting any invitations from the future Mrs Bingley.  The last thing she wanted was too ruin her beloved sister's marriage.

 

Mary was learning to care for the tenants, and Jane was now interesting her in the household accounts. Mr Collins did not hide his satisfaction about these initiatives, praising his intended excessively but honestly.  Elizabeth still considered the man ridiculous, but she was confident that, with a capable steward, Longbourn could continue to prosper.

 

Though she loved her father, and even her younger sisters, Elizabeth knew it would not be enough for her to remain at Longbourn after Jane left to establish herself in her own home.  At least she would only have to bear a few months before she could legally depart from the house that held so few happy memories.

 

A more pressing matter, however, was the upcoming Netherfield Ball. She had promised the supper set to Mr Darcy, and would not be able to avoid the gentleman unless she  begged off the entire evening.  Her mother would not care whether she attended or not, but she did not trust her father to handle Lydia and Kitty  at a ball – especially with the officers attending as well.

 

And Mr Darcy deserved some sort of explanation. She knew he had called at Longbourn almost as much as Mr Bingley, not to mention his riding or walking along nearly all the path s between Longbourn and Netherfield.

 

Elizabeth was sitting by her window, attempting to distract herself with a book, when she heard a soft knock on her door.

 

''You can come in, Jane.'' She called out while closing the book. She knew it could only be her eldest sister – she was the only one who dared disturb her and did not simply attempt to barge in like Lydia.

 

''I talked to Mr Darcy this morning.'' Jane announced. ''Mr Bingley told me his friend wanted to court you.'' She added softly once she had closed the door behind her.

 

Elizabeth rose from her seat and locked the door. She had no wish to have one of their younger sisters stumbling in the room during this particular conversation. Still facing the door, she replied.

 

''Yes, I suspected as much.''

 

''What do you mean?'' She could hear the slight surprise in her sister's voice.

 

''He kissed my hand – my bare hand – last week.'' Looking up to see Jane's worried look, she quickly continued. ''It happened very quickly, I am quite certain he did not notice anything. '' She blushed. ''It was still enough for me to understand that he might expect more than friendship.''

 

Jane smiled, though her gaze remained serious.

 

''He is not the first gentleman who has admired you and acknowledged a wish to court you. Unlike before though, I do not believe you to be indifferent to him.'' She observed.

 

Elizabeth sighed. She would have preferred to have more time to think about this on her own, but Jane knew her too well, and Elizabeth had long swore to herself that she would never lie to Jane.  It was only fair.

 

''I confess that I do enjoy his company.''

 

When Jane simply stared at her with a raised eyebrow, she blushed and turned her head towards the window, quickly adding.

 

''And he is very handsome. And undoubtedly the most intelligent man I have ever met.''

 

''And a loyal friend.'' Jane helpfully suggested, amused.

 

''And a kind master to its tenants and servants it seems.'' She faced Jane again. ''Though he is quite proud, and sometimes thinks too highly of himself.'' She cautioned.

 

Jane shook her head.

 

''You cannot expect the man to be perfect, Lizzy.'' She declared with slight exasperation.

 

''I do not.'' She sighed. ''It does not matter anyway.''

 

Jane grabbed her hands and forced her to look her in the eyes. ''You promised, Lizzy. You promised you would not refuse a chance at love and happiness.''

 

Elizabeth shook her head. ''Not if it means endangering _your_ happiness, Jane.''

 

''I do not remember us voicing such conditions when we exchanged our promises.'' Her elder sister objected. ''And I do not believe that your happiness is less important than mine. You have sacrificed enough.''

 

''So have you. And my happiness not being less important than yours does not make it _more_ important. If we look at our respective situations rationally, you have a much greater chance at happiness.'' Elizabeth argued.

 

''Matters of the heart are hardly rational, Lizzy. And I do not see why we could not both be happy.''

 

Elizabeth opened her mouth to remind Jane of the disaster that would happen if people started accusing her of witchcraft, but her sister shot her a stern look and continued.

 

''I understand your fear – I realize how difficult it is for you to believe a man could be trusted with your secret, and still love you. But you will never know if Mr Darcy is worthy unless you give him a chance.'' Jane stated strongly, making Elizabeth almost feel like a berated child.

 

In a softer tone, she continued. ''I am not saying that you should tell him everything the next time you see him. Just… be open to the idea. Allow him to court you, and to earn your trust. He has not given you any reason to distrust him, has he?''

 

Elizabeth simply nodded, struggling to accept the words of her sister.

 

''You even trusted him with the truth of Longbourn's management.'' Jane pointed out.

 

''He figured it out. I merely explained the situation afterwards.'' Elizabeth corrected.

 

''You were under no obligation to tell him, though. Do you regret confiding in him?'' Jane prodded.

 

Elizabeth stared at the floor and quietly said. ''Now, I do not.''

 

Jane sat next to her on the bed and gently hugged her. ''Don't you think you deserve a chance, Lizzy?''

 

Careful not to touch her sister's skin, Elizabeth returned the embrace and allowed a few tears to run silently down her cheeks. It was hard for her to believe that she had, perhaps, a chance to have those things she had long resigned herself to live without. A loving husband. Children. A real home, instead of a house where she was mostly tolerated or to hide from a society that would condemn her for something she was born with.

 

Several minutes later, once she had calmed down, Jane softly asked her.

 

''Will you try, Lizzy? Mr Darcy promised that he would not pressure you by calling at Longbourn. You have a few days to think about all of this. But, please, promise me that you will attend the ball and dance with him?''

 

Wiping her cheeks, Elizabeth nodded. ''I will go to Netherfield. I am not sure what it will lead to. Honestly, I have no idea whether I will ever feel safe enough to confide fully in Mr Darcy. I – I am still not convinced that I should agree to a courtship should he ask. I have no wish to give him hope and then fail him.''

 

''You can take your time. No one expects you to rush a life-altering decision.'' Jane smiled.

 

Elizabeth smiled tiredly. ''Thank you Jane. I promise you, again, that I will try.''

 

The words were strangely liberating, but the young woman feared the hope that rose in her chest. She wondered how much choice she truly had in falling in love with the gentleman, and whether she was making a mistake or not in opening herself to love and hurt.


	17. Netherfield Ball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the new chapter!

With only four days until the ball, Elizabeth had much to think about.

She had promised she would attend and dance with Mr Darcy, but she still struggled with the wisdom of this decision. She would attend – she had given her word to Jane and, though indirectly, to Mr Darcy. However, she wondered and feared what would happen afterwards.

She was not ready to confide her deepest fears and secrets with a man she had met only a few weeks ago. No matter how much time they had spent together, or how safe and comfortable he made her feel. It was simply impossible for her heart to open so completely in so short a time, and for her mind to break free of limitations she had held onto for several years.

Jane had rightly pointed out, though, that Mr Darcy already was aware of a situation that would be a scandal in polite society, and did not think any less of her. Quite the contrary in fact, for Elizabeth privately suspected that this knowledge had played a significant part in his developing an admiration for her. It had certainly given them a solid common ground on which to build an exceptionally close friendship.

If she was honest with herself, the gentleman's admiration was not one-sided. His wishes and his recent persistence in seeking her company, as well as the numerous conversations they had shared, had sparked a hope in Elizabeth's chest.

What truly separated them were their respective expectations. Mr Darcy stated a desire for a courtship, and she doubted he was the kind of man who would enter in such a relationship lightly. Therefore, this courtship would most certainly end with a proposal. Elizabeth, however, had forced herself not to contemplate marriage since she officially entered society. Why torture herself with an event that could never be? She had no expectations. She had given them up years ago.

Yet, she had made a promise to her sister. And, in over five years of society, Mr Darcy was the only man she had met in whom she had wanted to confide. Of course, she had only told him of Longbourn's real situation. But, even before he had figured it out, she had wanted to share it with him. And he had not failed her. He had listened and accepted. He had judged, as any other human would, but refrained from voicing his condemnation of her father's actions.

If she agreed to a courtship, she knew she was ultimately agreeing to a proposal, and would need to trust him fully. She had never confided her abilities to anyone. Jane and her parents knew from witnessing or experiencing it themselves. Her aunt and uncle Gardiner had learned from her parents soon after Mrs Bennet's discovery and subsequent rejection. She had never told Charlotte, or her younger sisters, or anyone else.

Those who knew had known for as far as she could remember. She only knew the consequences of the revelations: her mother's rejection, her estrangement from her younger sisters, Jane's shyness and carefulness about physical contact, her father's laziness and her parent's failed marriage.

It was quite ironic, really, that her abilities to heal herself and others so effectively had caused so much harm to her family and herself.

If she confided in Mr Darcy, would he accept it? Or would her abilities destroy another relationship between herself and a loved one?

Elizabeth shook her head. All this thinking would not get her anywhere. There was simply no way for her to predict Mr Darcy's reaction to a revelation that may not happen before several months – if it ever did.

A relationship always involved two people. Mr Darcy and her needed to talk, to discuss whether or not they should proceed with the courtship. And she had to warn him that, no matter the feelings between them, she was unsure she even had the ability to open her heart and expose herself enough to confide in him. And she would never enter marriage if she could not.

She was hopeful, though, for the first time in years, that maybe she had the strength to let one person in. As long as they took things slowly.

Once she had determined that she had thought over the situation as much as she could by herself, Elizabeth awaited the day of the ball with an unfamiliar mix of eagerness, anticipation and dread. It was also the first time she dressed for a ball with so much care, adding some pearls in her hair and choosing a green gown that complimented her figure and brought out her eyes.

She entered a well-decorated Netherfield with her family – even her father had left his study for the occasion. Mr Bingley greeted them warmly, his eyes lingering on Jane as he told her he was looking forward to dancing with her in the first set.

Mr Darcy approached Elizabeth as soon as her family passed into the ball room. She noticed his left fist clenching and opening repeatedly, and was strangely reassured by the fact that he was clearly as nervous as her.

''Miss Elizabeth. I am happy to see you here tonight.'' He bowed.

She curtsied in return and said softly. ''I did promise you the supper set, Sir.'' She smiled slightly. ''And even though she is kindness itself, my sister can be extremely convincing when she decides to.''

''I do hope Miss Bennet's threats are not the only reason you are attending this ball.'' He stated with both amusement and trepidation.

Elizabeth looked him in the eyes, wishing herself not to blush under his intense gaze. ''Indeed, they are not.'' She blinked when she heard the first notes of music. ''We have much to discuss, Mr Darcy, but we also have partners who will not be happy if we do not find them before the first set begins. Duty calls, I am afraid. We will have to continue this conversation during our own set.''

She curtsied and went to find Charlotte's brother, who had asked her to dance the first set with her, still feeling the gentleman's stare on her. She took a deep breath. Somehow, being near him had made her both tense and elated, and she now realized that she had almost been holding her breath during their whole interaction.

She enjoyed her first set, for she had known her partner for most of her life. Like many other young men in the area, he had once tried to court her. It only took him two weeks to realize that he would not be able to convince her any more than her previous suitors, and he had relented. Now, the young man was animatedly telling her about the last week he spent in town with his father, and the young lady he had met and called on three times.

She noticed Mr Darcy glancing at them and glaring at the young Mr Lucas when she laughed at the tale of his awkward first call on the young lady. The gesture, thankfully unnoticed by Charlotte's brother, was repeated several times during the dance. It was flattering, of course, that the gentleman would show signs of jealousy. She was however irritated by it: they had no agreement, and she was perfectly able to manage an unwanted suitor herself.

The second set, which she danced with Mr Bingley, was equally enjoyable. She sensed a certain nervousness from her sister's suitor, and wished she could brush his skin to confirm her intuition. His frequent looks to Jane – so frequent that he nearly ran into an officer when he missed a step in the dance – made her wonder whether a proposal would happen soon. She knew Jane was ready to accept Mr Bingley.

Elizabeth, who had noticed Mr Collins less than perfect dancing skills during the first two sets, reluctantly took her place in the third set. She endured the dance, reminding herself that Mary hated dancing and that the parson's skills in that area would not matter in their future. Mary was content in her choice, and Elizabeth had promised to accept that.

When the supper set was about to begin, Mr Darcy offered her his arm to lead her to the lines of dancers. They did not exchange a word and spent the first few steps of the dance in equal silence. Now that the alleged time for an important conversation had come, it seemed neither could think of a way to start it.

Finally, Elizabeth found the courage to speak, deciding to start with a more neutral topic.

''I did not have the opportunity to tell you before, but my father has talked to all the shopkeepers about Mr Wickham. He has also taken the time to remind my mother and sisters that there are many disadvantages to marrying a young officer.'' She glanced down the line were Lydia and Kitty were laughing and dancing with two officers and sighed. ''Despite appearances, they have heard his arguments. I am afraid it is not enough to prevent them from enjoying their company, but they will not encourage a serious attachment.''

''I am happy to hear it. There is not much more we can do at present with this situation. Hopefully, Mr Wickham will find limitations of credit in the local shops to be bothering enough for him to quit the place entirely.'' Mr Darcy commented.

''While we are on business matters, I believe I should inform you that the works in the southern part of the estate are going well – at this rate, they should be completed before winter truly settles in the country.''

She simply nodded in reply as the steps of the dance separated them. When they came together again, he continued.

''Tell me, Miss Elizabeth, how fares the young Thomas Cubbins? I passed by his family's cottage several times last week, but never got a glance of the boy.''

She smiled sadly. ''He is still recovering. His parents are reluctant to allow him outside, especially since the weather turned cold these last few days. He nearly died, and they fear a relapse if he does not rest enough.''

''Will he be well?''' He enquired with sympathy.

''Well? I suppose that depends on your definition of the word. He was a strong, carefree child. Now he is alive, but he will always be weaker and probably smaller than his old playmates. Mr and Mrs Hills have started arrangements to have him trained as a servant.'' She had taken away his choice of what he could do with his life. She could have healed him more, and ensure he would make a full recovery. But she had chosen to protect her secret, therefore condemning the innocent boy to either death or physical weakness. It was the least she could do to make certain he would live as comfortable a life as possible.

''I believe his parents much prefer having him alive, though weaker, to burying their only child. You take great care of your tenants.'' Mr Darcy said softly, sensing her contemplative mood.

''They work the earth and produce all the harvest on the estate. They are the ones dirtying their hands and clothes to earn the money with which I bought this gown. It is only fair that I take care of them.'' She paused. ''Mary seems to have realized that as well. She has become quite fond of visiting our tenants. I am happy that Longbourn will not have to suffer from an indifferent Mistress.''

Mr Darcy approved heartily of her views on the duties of a Master and Mistress to their tenants, and they remained silent for a few minutes, both quietly delighting in the easy and meaningful conversations they had missed during the last fortnight.

The set was soon over, and Elizabeth naturally placed her hand on his arm, letting him choose their seats for supper. She was slightly surprised when he led them away from his friend and her sister, but his words once they were both seated and away from prying ears explained his choice.

''Though I have most certainly enjoyed our conversation during the dance, I believe we are both guilty of avoiding the real matter we were supposed to address.'' He straightened in his chair. ''My intentions are entirely honourable. I would like to court you, as you already know from your sister. I confess I had not planned on kissing your hand as I did, and perhaps this bold action was too much for you at the time. I would like to know, however, why you studiously avoided me. It is my impression that you prefer to face your problems rather than flee them.''

She shook her head and looked away. ''You seem to view me as braver than I truly am. I do flee situations that are beyond my control.''

She took a deep breath and continued, her gaze still fixed on the table. ''I was at ease in your company, Sir, and failed to notice the moment our friendship started to morph in another kind of relationship.''

He nodded. ''Miss Bennet told me of the promise you made years ago. Your actions and words until now suggested that you were not at liberty to marry, but clearly your sister does not share this opinion. I apologize for asking so bluntly: can you marry? Or are you promised to someone, or attached to some dark scandal?''

She laughed slightly. ''No, Mr Darcy, I have never been engaged to anyone, and no scandal has ever tarnished the name of my family – secretly or publicly. My reasons for refusing matrimony are solely my own. Jane is an optimist, and believes my objections may be overcome.''

''And do you share her opinion?'' He asked, leaning in towards her.

''A month ago, I would have replied that I do not. Today, the most honest answer I can offer you is that I am unsure.'' She answered slowly, raising her eyes to meet his gaze.

A piercing squeal interrupted their conversation. Elizabeth had almost forgotten that they were in a crowded room, and it took her a few seconds to remember were she was and piece together what was happening.

Her mother was the source of the scream, and was now embracing Jane and talking to Mr Bingley. Then she nearly ran to her husband and dragged him to their host.

''It seems my friend has finally found the courage to propose.'' Mr Darcy commented.


	18. Betrayal

Darcy stared out the window from the library. It was the new moon, and the stars seemed especially bright as the last guests from the ball left Netherfield.

His friend's declaration had been the sole topic of discussion for the rest of the supper, and once the dancing resumed, he had been unable to approach Miss Elizabeth to try and secure another set with her. Miss Bingley had been attaching herself to his arm whenever he attempted to move anywhere closer to the young woman, and he had had to comfort himself with the apologetic smiles Miss Elizabeth would offer him when their eyes met.

He was happy for his friend, and had known that he intended to propose, which was one of the reason he had seated Miss Elizabeth and himself away from her sister. He could not deny, however, that he was frustrated by the interrupted conversation. Still, while Miss Elizabeth's answer had not been what he hoped to hear, he felt he could reasonably hope for a courtship soon.

Bingley entered the library and poured them both a small glass of brandy. With a satisfied sigh, his friend settled in the nearest armchair, a silly grin still attached to his face.

''I should not stay up for long.'' He commented. ''I will have to ride to Longbourn early tomorrow.''

Darcy took a sip and asked. ''You do realize your betrothed and her family will likely sleep late, do you? Most people do after a ball, even in the country.''

''I know, Darcy, but I have an appointment with Mr Bennet. A ball is hardly the correct place for me to ask for his consent!'' Bingley laughed. ''Though I hope Mrs Bennet will not remember her objections to me before the engagement is official.''

Shaking his head at the memory of Mrs Bennet improper behaviour after Bingley's proposal, he remarked. ''Miss Bennet has reached her majority. You do not need her father's consent to make your engagement official.''

''And insult the man who raised and provided for the woman I love? I should think not!'' Bingley exclaimed. ''Besides, were you not the one always advising me to seek future advice from the Master of Longbourn?''

Darcy stared at his friend. He knew nothing of the real situation of the family he was marrying into. What respect did Mr Bennet deserve from his future son-in-law? How could he allow his friend to seek advice from an indolent man who had thrust all his responsibilities on a fifteen-year-old girl?

He emptied his glass in one gulp and settled in the chair facing Bingley. ''There is something I should tell you, Bingley…''

o0oOo0o

The morning after the Netherfield Ball was extremely quiet, much to Elizabeth's relief. She needed some time to reflect on her unfinished conversation with Mr Darcy, and a long walk to recover. With the emotionally draining fortnight and the new moon – not to mention her shortened walks to avoid Mr Darcy – she was exhausted. She had not felt so tired since her last long stay in town, and knew a tired mind could only lead to bad decisions.

Taking her longest and favourite path, she walked for a while simply enjoying the fresh air and the colours of the falling leaves. She was not eager for winter to arrive. While it was usually a quieter time – and included the yearly visit from her aunt and uncle for Christmas – the nature felt asleep, and it was harder for her to feel truly well. And this year, Jane might leave before spring came around.

Elizabeth glanced around her with a new outlook. Her own birthday was in the late days of spring, meaning this winter was most likely the last one she would ever see in Hertfordshire. And for the first time, she had no idea what her own future held.

It had been easy to picture before. A small cottage, far away from the town and Longbourn. Her aunt, uncle, father and Jane would be the only one to know where she was. She would finish her book on plants and hand it over to her uncle to get it published. Perhaps, in time, she would travel abroad.

Now, however, Mr Darcy had opened another path. One where she would still be part of society, where she could thrive on companionship and even love instead of living in loneliness. One that could end abruptly if her abilities disgusted him like they had disgusted her mother.

She knew the gentleman would probably call on her later that day, or perhaps the day after, and that she would have to give him an answer. She wanted to enter this courtship, to give them both a chance at the happiness she glimpsed at whenever they spent time together. Her only uncertainty was whether or not she should.

She sat against a tree, drawing strength from the ancient being. Jane had begged her again and again not to refuse love. Her aunt Gardiner had always supported that opinion as well. And her father had simply told her to do what she felt was best. Was she wrong? Was she truly the only one afraid of what could happen?

She took a deep breath. She would say yes. It was only a courtship, and she did not have to tell him everything right away. They had time. Surely, he also had secrets he was not yet comfortable sharing. She smiled and breathed deeply again, surprised by how easy it felt.

She returned to Longbourn, feeling much more rested and lighter than when she had left, and was welcomed by the screams of her mother. Apparently, Mr Collins had decided that he should follow Mr Bingley's example, and proposed to Mary while she was on her morning walk. Her younger sister had calmly listened to the long and exhaustive list of his arguments for marrying her and then agreed to his proposal, to her mother's delight.

Privately, Elizabeth hoped this news would distract her while Mr Bingley asked for her father's blessing and consent, so that the poor gentleman may be spared her objections to a tradesman's son marrying her most beautiful daughter. Thankfully, it seemed Mrs Bennet was comforted enough by his generous income and amiable nature to have resigned herself to the match at some time during the short courtship.

After offering her younger sister and her cousin her congratulations, Elizabeth joined Jane on the sofa. Mr Bingley had arrived only a few minutes ago and was currently speaking with Mr Bennet. Jane grabbed her wrist above her glove with her bare hand, letting her feel how nervous she was. With a small laugh, Elizabeth reassured her and conveyed her pleasure at seeing her eldest sister happy and in love.

Indeed, Mr Bingley soon joined the family in the drawing room, wearing the biggest smile she had ever seen on a man's face, and Elizabeth quickly rose to let him sit near Jane. After a few minutes of conversation with the rest of the family – including heartfelt congratulations to the other engaged couple – Mr Bingley begged Jane to take a turn in the garden with Elizabeth as chaperone.

Once they were out of sight from the house, Mr Bingley stopped Jane and turned towards Elizabeth.

''It is a tradition, I believe, for a man to show respect to those who cared for the woman he loves by asking their blessing of their future union. My dear friend Darcy has informed of the duties you have assumed over the last few years, Miss Elizabeth. I have asked for your father's blessing, but I believe I would not be thorough if I failed to ask for yours as well.''

Both sisters were quite surprised by the unexpected question. Jane soon smiled sweetly at her betrothed, touched by his thoughtfulness, while Elizabeth blushed and stammered that he, indeed, had her blessing.

The rest of their turn was spent in a more usual way, the happy couple walking some steps ahead of their chaperone to ensure both privacy and propriety were respected. Not that Elizabeth would have been able to eavesdrop on her sister's conversation. She was far more preoccupied by the implications of Mr Bingley's revelation.

Mr Darcy had betrayed her.

He had given her his word a few weeks ago that he would never tell anyone about the state of things at Longbourn, and now he had revealed it all to his friend.

Of course, Mr Bingley had immediately promised not to repeat it to anyone. But the material point was that her suitor had betrayed her trust, revealing a potentially harmful secret to someone else without her consent.

She could feel her chest tighten painfully and fought back her tears. She had thought they had a chance, that perhaps she had found a man she could trust with her life and secrets.

She had not. They were doomed before they even began.

When she saw the form of Mr Darcy and Sonata in front of Longbourn, she wanted to turn around and run deep into the forest. She knew, however, that such childish reaction would only delay the painful discussion. He smiled at her and she had to look away. She was not sure either of them had had the time to fall in love, but she had no doubt she was about to break his heart along with hers, and crush the hopes she had nurtured just a few hours ago at Netherfield.

Silently, she followed him to a small part of the garden that was in front of the window of her father's study.

Mr Darcy stopped, turned towards her and cleared his throat, his left hand again clenching nervously. She attempted to talk before he could begin, but he was faster.

''Miss Elizabeth, our conversation was interrupted last night, but I believe we both managed to share the most important parts anyway. I understand that you require time before you feel free to commit yourself more fully to my person, but that is the purpose of a courtship. As I have told you before, I admire you, and my intentions are entirely honourable. Please, may I court you?''

''I cannot, Sir.'' She quietly replied.

He visibly startled. Elizabeth closed her eyes. She had no wish to cause him unhappiness, and knew it would be unfair to give him any hope at this point. She had to be firm and severe now, to spare them both further suffering.

''You betrayed me, Sir. No matter what your feelings or mine are, I cannot marry – or court – a man who betrays my trust so easily.'' She slowly added, forcing herself to hold his gaze with a face devoid of emotion.

''What are you talking about? When have I ever betrayed your trust?'' He asked, bewildered.

''You told Mr Bingley about my father and Longbourn. And do not even attempt to deny it. He asked for my consent to marry Jane barely an hour ago.'' She said, her voice slowly rising as her despair was replaced by disappointment and anger.

''I have no wish to deny it. He is to be your brother, he has the right to know what kind of man his future father-in-law truly is, just as you deserve the credit for your work!'' Mr Darcy exclaimed.

''It was not your secret to tell! You did not even try to ask me when, or even if, I wanted him to know!'' She nearly screamed.

''And how on earth was I supposed to ask you such a question, Madam, when you have been studiously avoiding me for the last few weeks?'' Mr Darcy replied in a cold voice, before continuing with a rising fury, giving voice to all the frustration of the past fortnight

''I could understand your refusal today if you offered a real argument, but you never gave me a chance! I am offering you love and security, a home free of your abusing mother and dismissive father! And you cannot pretend that you do not return my feelings! You may have been avoiding my attentions for some time, but we both know that you did not dislike them. You acted as you, for some reason, believed you should, but certainly not as you wanted to.''

''You presume a lot about me, Sir. You betray me, and now you insult my family.'' She claimed, shaken by the pain that was visible behind his harsh demeanour. ''Please, leave.'' She begged, knowing she would not be able to keep her own emotions in check much longer.

''You cannot possibly expect me to respect your parents, knowing how they behaved towards you?'' He persisted, desperately attempting to get her to agree with him.

''Please, leave, Sir!'' She begged again, feeling the tears gathering in her eyes.

''I beg you, Elizabeth, don't push me away. I love you.'' His voice broke and he attempted to grab her hands, taking a step towards her.

She instinctively jerked her hands away from him and took a step back. The gentleman recoiled at her reaction and let his arms fall back awkwardly. She had not meant to hurt him further by her actions. Sadness replaced the anger in her eyes and she whispered.

''I love you too, Mr Darcy.'' She could at least offer him that truth, even if the admission pained her. She closed her eyes before begging him one last time. ''Please leave. I cannot bear to see you again.'' 

Without waiting to see his reaction, she turned and walked towards the house, gaining speed until she was nearly running away from him and finally allowing the tears to fall down her cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... Sorry?


	19. Winter lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Elizabeth welcomed her aunt and uncle Gardiner, along with her young cousins, with a smile that betrayed both her happiness at seeing her favourite relatives and her relief at having her sensible aunt to balance out her mother's scornful behaviour.

Since Mary's wedding the previous week, Mrs Bennet was assured that she would still have a house following her husband's demise, and no longer felt as dependent on her second daughter for her material comfort. Therefore, her scorn had been expressed more freely and her remarks had increased both in frequency and harshness.

Her mother's abuse, though not unusual, had also been harder for Elizabeth to ignore. Remarks on her unsuitability as a wife cut her more deeply and were a nearly constant reminder of her painful rejection of Mr Darcy.

The gentleman had left Hertfordshire soon after their last discussion, but was still very present in Elizabeth's mind. It was not until after his departure that she had realized the feelings she had confessed, as well as the truthfulness of that unplanned confession. Mr Bingley had been the one to inform her family of sudden business requiring Mr Darcy's immediate return to town. The kind gentleman had profusely apologized for his perceived role in their argument, but she had reassured him that he was not responsible for his friend's actions and that she was very happy to soon call him a brother.

Elizabeth knew that Jane also felt guilty despite repeated reassurances and both sisters had finally agreed to no longer discuss a subject that was painful to Elizabeth.

Though everyone had expected Mr Bingley and Jane to marry within a couple of months, they surprised the neighbourhood by firmly stating that they would wait until late spring to exchange their vows. Privately, Jane confessed that she had explained Elizabeth's intentions to leave Longbourn once she reached her majority and, in light of the recent increase of their mother's unkind remarks, had begged her betrothed to wait until Elizabeth's birthday.

Elizabeth had been touched, but insisted that they did not delay their happiness simply to spare her a couple of a month in unpleasant company. To her surprise, both Mr Bingley and Jane proved stubborn on this issue and refused to change the date. For the first time, Elizabeth found herself conceding to her sweet sister out of sheer exhaustion – it was usually the other way around.

The Gardiners quickly settled at Longbourn, and her young cousins kept her younger sisters busy while her uncle strongly reprimanded her mother when he overheard a scathing remark directed at Elizabeth. Life at Longbourn was becoming more bearable again, though the additional presence of the children was always stressful for Elizabeth.

Indeed, they tended to come up to her and grab her hand without warning, and she did not want to frighten them with her ability. Her Aunt insisted that things would be a lot easier if she simply told them, and that the children wouldn't mind because their parents didn't. However, Elizabeth always refused, and her aunt would never tell without her consent.

Christmas came and went to the children's delight, but Elizabeth was still subdued. On Boxing Day, while her cousins played on the frozen pound, Elizabeth finally shared the whole story and her regrets with her dearest aunt.

''I thought time would heal the wound, but it hasn't. I am no longer sure I made the right decision. I certainly should not have been so hurtful with Mr Darcy. I cannot even determine whether it matters or not at this point: it is done. Mayhaps it was indeed done for the best. He will move on more easily if he dislikes me. But I often wonder if this courtship could have worked, after all. I mean, I realize that Mr Darcy did not mean to betray me. It was unconsciously done – he was trying to look out for his friend and failed to take some elements into account. Still, how could it have worked when he betrayed his words so easily?''

Realizing that she was rambling, Elizabeth blushed and fell silent. She looked at her cousins, envying their carefree attitude and happiness. She had not had many such moments during her childhood, but she remembered them fondly. Though not exactly because of her mother's abuse, life had certainly been simpler then.

''I feel lost, Aunt.'' Elizabeth concluded with a defeated sigh. ''I stepped off the familiar path when a new one suddenly appeared. But I could not follow it through the thorn bushes. Now, I am hurt, alone, and I do not seem to be able to find my way back to that familiar path.''

Mrs Gardiner looked at her niece. She had heard the story from Jane in her letters, the young woman feeling guilty for encouraging Elizabeth on the road that had led her to her current heartbreak. However, Madeline Gardiner realized that both girls considered the present situation as the final outcome, instead of the necessary stage it was.

Elizabeth had never trusted anyone outside of family, and even then she rarely confided in them, much less rely on them. Though Madeline wished the poor girl did not have to suffer anymore than she already had, she needed that lesson from life. Perfect and immediate trust was simply impossible, and Elizabeth would have to learn that mistakes – like Mr Darcy's foolish and well-meant confession to his friend – could be an opportunity to strengthen a relationship.

''Then why don't you move forward, Elizabeth?'' She asked simply.

Her niece remained silent for a few seconds.

''I do not comprehend your meaning, dear Aunt.''

''You said you could not find your way back to your old, familiar path. So, my advice is to move forward. You may be able to find that new path again.''

''I am not sure that path is still open to me.''

Mrs Gardiner shook her head. ''Mr Darcy is an honourable gentleman, who has refused to align himself with any heiress from town. He would not have offered for you or confess feelings if he did not mean it. And love is not destroyed by rejection – nor time. You simply hope your loved one found happiness and learn to live with the pain that this happiness does not include you. In time, that pain may become dull, but it does not mean that the feelings disappeared.''

She stared at her niece. ''Have your feelings disappeared or even lessened since you sent him away?'' She asked, already knowing the answer.

Wordlessly, Elizabeth shook her head. Underneath the pain, her tender feelings for the gentleman seemed determined to keep growing. Sometimes, she wished they would just disappear. Most often, though, she cherished them and the memories of their long walks around the estate.

''I am not saying that it will be easy, Elizabeth. Mr Darcy and you both need to learn from your mistakes. He should not have talked to Mr Bingley without consulting you first, and you should not have refused to listen to his explanations.''

''I hurt him on purpose. I used any of his faults and turned them into an insult to his character to try and destroy his feelings for me.'' Elizabeth confessed with a barely restrained sob.

Her aunt hugged her gently, careful not to let their skins touch. She was not sure Elizabeth wanted a reminder of her abilities at this moment. ''You hurt both of you. And you will both need each other's love to heal.''

Once Elizabeth was more calm, she continued. ''Are you willing to try, Elizabeth? Mr Darcy will come back for Jane and Mr Bingley's wedding. Will you welcome him in your life again?''

Elizabeth nodded slowly. ''I do want to. But this would be much easier if I had some insurance that all will be well in the end – at least for Jane.''

Raising her eyebrow, Mrs Gardiner enquired. ''Is this what you are most worried about? That if your abilities are discovered, Mr Bingley will leave Jane?''

With a humourless chuckle, Elizabeth agreed. ''You seem surprised, Aunt. My heart is already broken, and my abilities have long ruined my relationship with my mother and other sisters – even, in some way, with my father. What else do I have to lose?''

Not for the first time, Madeline Gardiner fought a wave of disgust and hate at her sister-in-law. Sometimes, she wondered if Elizabeth would not have had a better and happier childhood if they had actually taken her into their care when her abilities were discovered. But Mr Gardiner had just married her and unexpectedly lost his father and inherited the business. They needed to travel abroad and could not bring a child so young with them. And Mr Bennet had refused his wife's request, anyway.

Instead she had seen the bright toddler grow into a fearful and silent girl, and then in a capable, confident and slightly cynical young woman who opened her heart to precious few people and actually looked forward to an even lonelier life once she was legally free to leave her parents' household.

The young girl had not completely disappeared, though, and her insecurities weighed heavily on Elizabeth on this particular day.

''Mr Bingley loves Jane, and they will both have to prove worthy of that love, just like Mr Darcy and you. And I doubt he would break the engagement because of your gift.''

''My abilities have thoroughly destroyed my parents marriage. How can you be sure it won't ruin Jane's happiness with Mr Bingley as well?'' Elizabeth objected.

''Wedding, Elizabeth, is the start of the relationship between husband and wife. It takes constant work for a relationship to endure. Your abilities were a challenge along the way, but your parents had been drifting away from each other long before that. They failed to sustain their relationship. No matter what your mother says, you are certainly not responsible for it.'' She stated firmly.

With a soft voice she continued. ''I realize that you never truly thought you would find a man with whom you could envision a life, and that trusting a relative stranger is something you have never done before. It is a leap of faith, and you are not sure you will survive the fall unscathed. But, Elizabeth, everyone feels some measure of fear when they entrust their heart to someone else. You cannot expect someone to contribute to your happiness without giving them the power to hurt you, and it is frightening, especially for someone as independent as you. But trust me when I assure you that it is worth it, and trust that Mr Darcy can learn from his mistakes while you learn from yours.''

''Thank you, Aunt. To be honest, I believe I will need some time to ponder your words and convince myself of their truth.'' Elizabeth said, smiling wanly.

''I expected as much. And I believe you will have a much easier time doing so away from Longbourn. I already talked to your uncle and father. If you are agreed, you shall return to town with us after the New Year.'' Mrs Gardiner offered.

''I would be delighted to, dear Aunt.''


	20. Family advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now we have caught up with what I posted on ffnet (I will edit the chapters over there this week). Update on both sites in 1 or 2 weeks.  
> Enjoy!

Darcy cringed when he heard the door slam behind him. It was not his habit to be so brutal with his house and its furniture, but his exhaustion and frustration betrayed him annoyingly often since his return from Hertfordshire.

 

After his confrontation with Miss Elizabeth, he had found himself unable to remain in the neighbourhood and ordered his things packed and delivered in London while he rode to the city by himself. He knew he would need some time alone to process everything that had been said by the young lady, and, to his shame, used the upcoming winter as an excuse to send Georgiana to Pemberley almost as soon as he arrived in his town house.

 

He was aware that his temper was not his best feature, and was glad that his sister was not here to witness his brooding and irritated mien. He knew, however, that such abrupt dismissing had probably hurt her. Another fault he would have to atone for.

 

Because he spent more time than he was comfortable with thinking about Miss Elizabeth and his failure to earn her trust and her hand, he soon decided to bury himself in work to keep his mind from wandering.

 

As he studied papers detailing possible investments in an attempt to determine which one would most profitable in the future, he wondered what the point was of ensuring his fortune kept growing when it was unlikely he would ever have a son or daughter to inherit. He was nearing the end of his third decade, and he had somehow managed to betray the only woman he had ever wanted to marry. Some moment during his time in Hertfordshire, Elizabeth had become so dear to him that he had unconsciously decided that he would either marry her or remain a bachelor until his death. After discovering love, he found that he could not settle for less.

 

His gaze fell back onto the numerous papers on his desk. The Darcy family had not become so prosperous by remaining idle or brooding. And he knew enough of his own family history that many of his ancestors had made mistakes that had sometimes taken years to correct. But it seemed the one trait of character that was always inherited was stubbornness – none of his ancestors had given up, and he would not shame his name by admitting defeat after one lost battle.

 

It was an easy decision to take, for he was proud of his ancestry and extremely reluctant to give up hope of marrying his lady love. However, he had no idea how to proceed from here.

 

He realized that Bingley's marriage to Miss Bennet was a golden opportunity for him. He was also aware that both sisters sought to protect one another. Miss Bennet had helped him after he promised that he would not ever betray Miss Elizabeth, who had definitely felt betrayed by his disclosure to his friend. He was confident – just as he had been then, for he would not have confided into Bingley otherwise – that no harm would come to Miss Elizabeth or her family because of it. The material point was, however, that he should not have acted without her consent. Now, he was unsure Miss Bennet would support him, no matter how repentant he was. She might even ensure that her sister and himself never visit Netherfield at the same time after the wedding.

 

That left him with no ally to plead his case to the young woman, and he knew she would likely be even more wary than she had been before – despite her own acknowledgement of their shared feelings, or perhaps because of it.

 

He remembered his aunt's reply to his letter, and the name of the Bennet's relations in trade. Miss Elizabeth had confided relying on her uncle's advice when dealing with investments for Longbourn. They sounded like an intelligent and hard-working couple that cared more about their own contentment than the image they gave to a society that relied solely on the appearance of wealth and fashion.

 

With this thought in mind, he carefully searched all his proposals of investment for the name Gardiner. He usually refused to even glance at the name before he had carefully analysed the project presented, but this would be an exceptional investment from which he hoped for much more than money.

 

He finally found one in the pile where he put the projects that he found promising. He immediately began to draft a letter in which he expressed his sincere interest for the project of furthering the commerce with the East, and a wish to meet with Mr Gardiner. He was uncomfortable in hiding his true goal for such encounter, but was unsure the Gardiners knew anything about his interactions with their niece. In fact, he did not know whether any fore knowledge would be to its advantage or disadvantage.

 

He was doubly disappointed the next day, when he received a reply stating that Mr Gardiner was currently out of town and would remain so until the New Year and his cousin barged into the house.

 

''In case you failed to notice, Richard, the knocker is not on the door. Most people correctly interpret this fact as meaning that I do not wish to be disturbed in my house.'' Darcy said in a mix of exasperation and amusement. He had a feeling this day was not going to be a good one, and had no wish for his cousin's antics.

 

''Be glad that I am the first one who ignored your absence of knocker, Darce. My father has heard of your return to London and is probably drafting a list of potential brides for you as we speak. Many of which are in town and eager to meet you.'' Richard declared withn a heavy sigh as he settled in the chair without waiting for an invitation.

 

Darcy frowned. ''It was kind of the Earl to send a doctor to examine Anne and finally convince Aunt Catherine that married life would be too detrimental to her health, and against both our wishes. However, I would have preferred if he did not use my unmarried status as a mean of bargain and a way to expand his political influence. I am a Darcy, not a Fitzwilliam.''

 

His cousin shrugged. ''You carry both names, and you will inherit Matlock if Henry and I die without issue. Henry is over thirty and sick, so Father has a hard time promoting him as a suitor. The young ladies' fathers fear he will die before he can sire a son and will leave their daughters with nothing but their dowries. And you know that few ladies of the ton wish to marry a soldier like me.''

 

Darcy raised an eyebrow. ''The second son of an Earl, whose unmarried elder brother is of questionable health? The history of society is full of young women being hurriedly married to such men, for better or worse. Many would consider you the best bet to obtain a close relation to Earldom.''

 

Richard smiled widely. ''Unfortunately, this second son is always eager to prove how indelicate soldiers can be compared to polite society, and always has frightening tales of death and battles to share.''

 

Darcy shook his head. Richard had never been one to let himself be manipulated, and had no wish to marry until he retired – if at all. He noticed that his cousin's face had grown serious once more, and listened.

 

''The point is, Darce, that the three of us are all unmarried. You are the youngest of the lot, you are healthy as a horse, you have a good reputation and quite a fortune attached to your name. Many would hesitate to marry a daughter to Henry or me, whether it is because they fear for their advancement in society or doubt our characters. They would have no such reservations with you, and Father knows that.'' Richard stated plainly. ''I think he is growing worried when he sees his political enemies with grandchildren, when he is not even sure his eldest son will outlive him.''

 

Darcy remained silent for a while and glanced at the reply he had received earlier. ''Well, I have no wish and no reasons to remain in town. I miss my sister, and wish to spend Christmas and the New Year in Pemberley. I have no doubt that the Earl will be busy in town, but perhaps your mother, Henry and yourself would welcome an invitation to my estate?''

 

''Indeed, I believe we would. My mother and brother are already settled in Matlock. I shall travel tomorrow and share your invitation.'' Richard said as he rose. ''Will you leave tomorrow as well?''

 

''I'd rather not give an opportunity to my uncle to visit before I can escape the city. I will leave as soon as the carriage can be prepared.''

 

''Until Christmas, then, Cousin.''

 

''Until Christmas.''

 

His travel to Pemberley was uneventful, and he was happy to finally reach his home. Georgiana easily forgave him after he assured her that his shortness was the consequence of his own foul mood and certainly not of anything she had done. When she enquired as to the cause of his foul mood, he begged her to wait until the arrival of Aunt Amelia and her sons, as he had no wish to tell the tale several times.

 

Lady Amelia Fitzwilliam, warned by her youngest son that her nephew was somewhat depressed, came a couple of days before Christmas with Henry and Richard, and immediately insisted that Darcy explain why he was in Derbyshire, and whether or not he was engaged to his young lady from Hertfordshire.

 

Needless to say, her declaration was met with complete silence as Darcy had not shared his interest in the young woman with anyone else, and the man himself had never expected his aunt to be so forward.

 

It was Georgiana who timidly broke the awkward atmosphere. ''Brother? Are you engaged?''

 

Darcy sighed heavily and gestured for everyone to move into the drawing room and sit down. Georgiana called for refreshments and looked intently at her brother.

 

''I am not engaged, dear sister, and you can rest assured that I would not wait so long to tell you if I were. However, I did meet and propose to a young woman in Hertfordshire.'' He exposed briefly.

 

''That young woman is Miss Elizabeth Bennet, isn't it? Do you mean that she rejected your offer? Why on earth would she do such a thing?'' Lady Amelia noticed that her nephew was shifting uncomfortably and her eyes narrowed. ''Fitzwilliam Darcy, what did you do?''

 

Darcy clenched his fists and glanced at his cousins, grateful to see that they were both serious – the wound was still too raw for him to tolerate any tease on the subject.

 

''I acted like a fool. I admired her – I still do – and slowly fell in love with her. She never hid the fact that she had no wish to marry, for some unknown reason – hence why I asked you to investigate any potential scandal, Aunt. But we spent a lot of time together, sometimes stretching the boundaries of propriety but never breaching them. We became close friends, and it was obvious, to myself and others, that we both wished for more.''

 

''Then what happened? It sounds like a fairytale so far.'' Richard pointed out.

 

Taking a deep breath, Darcy quickly related all that he knew about Miss Elizabeth and her family, as well as the story of their relationship, insisting on how she managed the tenants' needs as well as her sisters behaviour during public engagement. He did not share his conclusions on just how much the young woman had accomplished, but gave them all his personal observations.

 

''I am used to taking care of others and I felt that she deserved the credit for all that she had accomplished. It never occurred to me that I should not have shared such information without her consent, even to her future brother.'' He concluded an hour later.

 

He took a sip of his tea and grimaced when he realized it was cold. Georgiana prepared him a new cup mechanically.

 

His aunt sat straighter in her chair. ''Indeed, you should not have. Women are entirely dependent on their husbands, and your lady sounds used to being her own mistress as much as you are used to being your own master. And she clearly has other reasons that make her value trust above all else. Do you have any guess what those might be? I suspect you know more than you told us.'' She asked.

 

Wordlessly, Darcy shook his head. He had spent many nights wondering the same thing. ''None of what I know could justify such a decision. I once thought she might be reluctant to leave Longbourn, but she seemed happy when her sister Mary started to take an active role and visit the tenants. In fact, she seemed almost eager to relinquish the role of Mistress of the estate to other people – as long as they are kind and capable.''

 

''Was she abused? As a child?'' Richard suddenly enquired.

 

Surprised, Darcy confessed that he had suspected this as well. ''I have no doubt that Mr Bennet would not have allowed it, but Mrs Bennet is certainly quite harsher with her second daughter than with any of the others.'' He admitted.

 

Richard nodded. ''From what you described, she reminded me of some soldiers who had to travel long and far into the enemy's territory. Even once they are safely back in England, the amount of people they are close to is very few. They can interact well with most of society, but it feels like they are always wary of their surroundings, expecting someone to discover a nationality that they no longer need to hide. Basically, they spent so much time being on their guard that it has become habit and they no longer know how to be relaxed.''

 

Henry spoke up for the first time. ''What will you do now, Cousin?''

 

Darcy finished his cup and looked at all of them before answering. ''I am not willing to give up yet. I made mistakes, but I will use them to better myself. Jane Bennet is engaged to Bingley, and I am his best man. I am quite sure Miss Elizabeth will act as her sister's maid of honour, which will provide me with an opportunity to discuss everything with her. Even if marriage remains somehow impossible, I would like to at least retrieve our friendship. I am also trying to meet her uncle from London, for I know she values his advice, and I trust him more than I do her father. He is far too dismissive in the care of his daughters.''

 

''And do you know when Bingley plans to marry his Miss Bennet?'' Lady Amelia asked.

 

''From what I deciphered in his latest letter, late spring.'' He replied. ''I will go to Hertfordshire directly from my annual visit at Rosings.''

 

''Then before we finish this discussion and enjoy the end of the year festivities, I will give you, as well as the others, a last piece of advice.'' His aunt offered. ''No one is ever completely right or completely wrong in an argument. There is a greatness of character in admitting your mistakes, but it is a foolish thing to take all the blame upon yourself. Your young lady is just as human as you are, and made mistakes as well. Do not put her on a pedestal she will be unable to stay on – it would be unkind to both of you.''

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this first chapter.  
> I already have twenty chapters written, but I'll post them slowly. I had to stop writing for a while because of my studies, and I only recently went back to it, so I need some time to get started on the next chapters.  
> Please let me know what you thought in the comments!  
> PS : All the chapters are available on ffnet, but they are not edited. I will edit before posting here, and any future updates of the story will be on both sites. So, you know where to go if you want to binge-read, but be warned that errors and typos will be more numerous over there...


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